TUF: Episode 8

So I come in as Bollinger is basically breaking from trying to cut weight. Come on son, I need you to put foot to ass with the Gutierrez kid and how the fuck you posed to do that crying in a corner at 140 lbs. seriously I've been waiting all season to watch Gutierrez get beat. Now Raquel is trying to convince him to continue. So Bollinger quits. Dana calls a meeting. So you mean no one is gonna punch Gutierrez in the face tonight? Weak sauce man. Dana is hot. He throws Cody out and not for nothing, Anthony is a pound off too. Oh fuck the crying. You weren't crying when you decided to eat all that crap. So now that the commission is the deciding authority on what happens with Gutierrez.

Ronda seems unreasonable this week. As much as it pains me to agree with Tate there really wasn't anything she could have done to make Cody cut weight or not quit. Turns out Anthony has a choice. Cut weight again in a few days and fight Chris Beal or take the forefit and move on to the next round. Of course he takes the move on card. Dana's face is tight as fuck tonight. We move on to the Moras Vs Morgan fight. Sarah is one tough chick but she is a ground game girl and Peggy is all about hands. She already said she will try to keep the fight standing which is always a bad move. This whole season has been like this. Grappler vs Striker. I can dig it. We all have our comfort zones but no fighter can just be one style. 

Morgan is tall as a tree and lanky as hell. She is also a college professor. Who knew. Ronda is concerned about her takedown defense on the cage. The height and reach stats are so disproportionate for these two. Sara is 5'6 and Peggy is 6'1. I love Sarah but she is shaped like a dumpling. I hate to say that in my current physical state but it's true. Of course we know this means nothing in the ring but it's an accurate observation. Fight starts and Moras is getting in close. She has an odd flatfoot work. It looks stilted. The first takedown attempt by Moras failed. But the seconding was successful.  Moras is in there like swimwear and gets the armbar. Peggy never saw it coming. Anyway. I guess we are on to the semifinals next week. Should be interesting. 

It Wont Stop

No TUF update this week. We got some recap nonsense last night that I didn't need to see instead of the Gutierrez/Bollinger fight. Oh well. On to other topics. I was talking to someone about how difficult it is to lie convincingly for some folks. There is some workplace trickery going on around here that makes me wonder sometimes if they really think that the client is stupid. Not anyone in particular, I am just saying its very interesting to see folks try to BS their way through something and get royally called on it. I am one of those folks who can sense when folks are lying most of the time. Whether it be direct or by omission, I can always tell when something is up.

Case in point, folks have a tendency to forget what they lied about. Don't tell me something completely fabricated and then when I ask you about it later you go completely stiff and forget what the hell I am asking you about. That is a dead damn give away. Another example is when folks are pretending with their true feelings. This right here I am not good at. I have no poker face when it comes to whether or not I fuck with you or not. This is why when phonies come around or people I just generally dislike, I don't spend my time attempting to convince them that I like them or that I care about what it is they are doing. I am transparent, and pretty sarcastic when I see them, so if I really don't want to offend I just steer clear of them.

My stepbrother is a good example. I cant stand his ass and he knows it. I make myself say hello with as much grace as I can and then I don't speak to him again for the rest of the visit. Its better that way for both of us. On the flip, I am sure there are folks who don't fuck with me either, but smiling in my face or pretending to give a shit about my innermost thoughts and feelings isn't doing a damn thing for either of us. I already know you don't give a fuck, and continuing to keep pretending just makes me irritated. I am not an idiot or a child, and blowing smoke up my ass is patronizing. 

This is why I wish folks would just be real or go the fuck away. Do me a favor, when our time is up and we have nothing else to say to each other, can you please just go the hell on? Kick rocks and beat feet down the lane. I wont even be mad about it I swear. You arent going to hurt my feelings if you get ghost, just don't keep hanging around...talking to me or asking me stupid ass questions cause that I cant stand. In the words of Big Pun "Go that wayyyy". If you got what you came for do me a favor and bounce.

Outside of that I have been reworking my book. I think I finally know what to concentrate on and what about it is important. Sure its only taken me 20 years but whatever, I had real shit going on. I gotta plan a wedding! I am still working out the details. It looks like we have come up with a better venue and a possible date. I don't want anything in stone right now as this shutdown shit has made money real funny in our household and I don't want to promise that cash to someone if I need it. I am sure it will work out just fine. 

In addition, because I struggle with not knowing when to stop piling on, I have decided that what I really need to do in addition to my 40 hour a week job is take on part-time employment. Since I didn't (read: couldn't) go back to school this semester I decided that getting paper was a good idea. For those of you that know me, this is not a new scenario. I don't sit still well, so getting off work to come home and either watch TV or cook dinner seems way more stressful to me than writing a paper or working. I have always either had two jobs or one job and school so its far from unfamiliar. This gig is a sweet one too, so I have zero qualms about adding a few more hours to my evening.  Now, sadly it does cut into my workout time, but I can just push that stuff to the ends of the week. I can always run on the hamster wheel and Zumba and BJJ are both offered plenty of times during the week. 

Headed to see Fiona Apple tomorrow with my Pisces sister from another mother Rachel. I am so geeked to go. We finally got a chance to hang out after eons of not seeing each other and as true Pisces do we laughed and drank wine and played Just Dance lol. Yes I am grown and I still kicked ass at Janelle Monet's Tightrope and Apache's Jump On It. I got the new one last week and its time to have fun. Anyway, recap next week people. 

TUF: Episode 7

True story I missed the first 25 min of TUF talking to my fiancé about the worst boss I ever had. Anyway I came in just as Hill and Wooten were entering the ring so this review will be MAD short. For the record the Wooten kid did not impress me. Mainly cause of his lack of energy, enthusiasm and participation in the first fight. He's under the Hill kid about to be choked out 2 min into the first round and he's gasping for air like a fish on land. He escapes a submission attempt but trust me he is not in control of this fight. This kid gives his back more than a hooker. He defends take downs okay but in general he isn't great. I am saddened when I realize there will be a round two.

We go to commercial and despite my assertion that I would not do arms last week I did them anyway. Tonight is another story. 2 hours of Zumba with weights is not making me feel happy about extra arms tonight. 

Somewhere during the intermission someone lit a fire under the Wooten kid. He comes out aggressive and spend 2 min on the mat on top of Hill. Of course the balance of power changes and Hill has him up against the cage again. Hill executes closed guard from a standing positing and takes Wooten down. Suddenly Wooten has his back. It doesn't last. Ugh I hate this fight. Seriously I coulda had a V8. The fight goes to 3 and all I can think about is sleeping. 

I succumbed to a little arm work and I get up to get the kettlebell during the next commercial out of guilt.. Sue me. All the corner help in the world can't save this here fight. It blows and neither guy is going to choke, tap or submit the other. Not in a good way like last week in a bad way like WTF. 

Almost 4 min have passed and I am thinking about what I should wear to work tomorrow. The foolishness of this fight is just too much for me. Wooten and Hill evenly matched losers. Of course it goes to decision. Yawn worthy win by some miracle Wooten wins. Miesha comes over for some fake congratulatory nonsense and Ronda deflects. She shakes Hills hand but not Tate. Eh, I get it. So last women's fight is gonna be Peggy and Sara. Two big redheads and Cody and Anthony and I want Gutierrez to lose. I have been extra sick of his face and I am hoping Cody puts it to him. 

TUF: Episode 6

The big fight that we have all been waiting on since the first night is here Raquel Pennington and Jessamyn Duke are finally gonna go. Tate is having some sort of pow wow prayer circle for Pennington and Pena has decided folks need makeovers. Pennington and Moras are selected as guinea pigs. They look terrible dolled up honestly. Square and in heels and just wrong. Pennington is talking about her coming out and how difficult it was. She seems to have struggled with it but seems a lot more settled and happy doing what she loves and being the person she is. When it comes time for training I give Raquel strength and speed but Jessamyn is no bullshit and she would be a fool to underestimate her.

Off to the break and no arms tonight. Two straight hours of Zumba fried me so fuck arm work tonight. True story I am gonna regret that tomorrow.

The group heads off to green Valley Ranch resort and spa for a little break which means assless Hooters girls and a pool party with food. Raquel is there but not eating. Jessamyn didn't even go. She was on some "any other fight any other time". Mother bitch, here comes Gutierrez again. You know he is happy about food and no ass. Gutierrez is acting a whole drunk fool as usual. He is totally fucking with Raquel and she does not appreciate that shit. Period. So early the next morning they fuck with him and dump him out of his bed. Good show ladies. 

The fight starts and they make it through round one and they both spent time swinging for the fences. You can tell Jessamyn is all Muy Thai and Raquel is all boxing. No mat action whatsoever. Jessamyn managed to get a decent choke early but couldn't finish. 

Round two starts and they come out fast and furious as round one. There are some serious strikes thrown and it looks like Raquel is getting the best of Jessamyn. The round ends and they go to three. First time in this season. Jessamyn is rocked but still fighting. Raquel looks untouched and still fresh. How they managed to go three full rounds is beyond me. I didn't expect a decision. In the end Baszler is right from the outside the fight seemed dead even but the judges scored all three rounds for Raquel. Well deserved win, and honestly Jessamyn shouldn't be upset. She fought like a damn champ. So the next fight is Josh Hill vs.Michael Wooten. I hope that Wooten boy fights better than he did the first time. Dana was ready to throw him off the show and that is never a good look. 

TUF: Episode 5

I know I know, late and wrong. I don't know what is with me and my timing but I somehow managed to miss the first five minutes of this week's episode too. I gotta get it together. Anyway, this week's drama is brought to you courtesy of the Grant/Fisette fight. Two guys involved in the most friendly bromance I have seen in a while. They are roommates and buddies and they laugh and joke and friend it up which I am sure is gonna make for an uncomfortable fight.

I keep forgetting that these kids are tremendously bored. There is nothing to do in the house but eat and pick on each other. Raquel tells the story of her coming out to her family to the girls in the house. I don't know why but I felt like there was some editing there. I will tell you why later. So, they are all dicking around outside playing truth or dare and somehow Gutierrez gets in on the mix. Possibly because Sarah Moras deemed him best looking in the house. Uggh okay kids whatever. So this gives him license to come out and run his trap. First thing he does is choose truth and when they ask who he thinks is the weakest link in the house he picks Fisette. Not that I don't agree, because out of everyone in the house Fisette is the only one who didn't get there by winning his fight. He was actually submitted by Holdsworth, but when Corwin got sent home, he got the opportunity to come back. Fair enough. Oh and Roxanne is probably the funniest person in the house. Bollinger picked dare, and they send him upstairs to use a cheesy pickup line on her. I don't even know what he said but she seemed wise to his game when he walked in. She is just minding her business and writing her Japanese blog (I know, I think she is magical too) Her response? "You couldn't handle all of this" which I think is hilarious.

Training sessions start and we get to see Fisette in action with Caraway. He has what he thinks is a foolproof strategy to win against Grant. Noticing that he doesn't really stand still and trade punches (because that shit is stupid and guaranteed to get you a nap on the mat) he intends to get in close. Okay chief, if that's what works for you. The other team has the esteemed pleasure of meeting Ronda's mom former judo champion Anna Maria DeMars. One very intense, very quick lady with a whole lot to say. Ronda put it best when she said that she thought people would understand her better once they met her mother. I get it. BTW I don't subscribe to that whole Ronda is a bitch deal. Sure, she might be but first and foremost she is there to win. She is serious and all that jokey shit is lost on her. Ms. DeMars for her part takes the time to watch each fighters technique before offering any criticism and then proceeds to execute one of the fastest armbars I have ever seen in a tank top and jeans. Wow. Ronda explains a little about having to fight people who were clearly better or fight injured because her mother wanted her to understand how important her training and preparedness was. It seems to still be a point of contention for her, but I get it.

Ms. DeMars comes back to the house and gets the opportunity to chat with Grant about his two boys. She asks if they were there would an opponent have any way to stop him. Of course he says no, and that right there sets the tone as far as I am concerned about what is bout to happen next. Long story short they both make weight, despite the fact that Grant has a ton to drop and everyone in the house has been eating like pigs at a trough. Its just flat out ridiculous what they are eating. Anyway, somewhere in the mix Miesha the voice of reason and good decide that what would really go along way to make things better between the teams is to sneak into the Rousey camp and leave Edmond Tarverdyan a figurine of the The Count from Sesame Street because they think he looks like him. They also add an eyebrow waxing coupon for his unibrow. Good thing Ronda and her mother see it first, cause she is convinced that "joke" wont me met with lightheartedness and hides it from him.

On to the fight. All that "get in close" crap did not help Fisette at all and even though it went to round two, Fisette couldn't hold Grant off or even come up for air IMO and he was defeated by rear naked choke in Round 2. Ronda announced the next fight, Duke vs. Pennington and I am guessing its going to be a brawl. Both these women have a rack of go hard and very little quit in them. Should be really damn interesting.