Thursday, November 21, 2013

TUF: Episode 12

Of course I came in about 10 min late to the show due to work but what is the first thing I see? Gutierrez. Its three hours to fight time and he still has to cut 8 damn pounds. From what I could gather from the conversation he was 144 the night prior to the fight, and woke up at 145 (the scale on the wall indicated that). He seemed unfazed at first, but I have said it before and I will say it again. Cutting weight, any weight at all is hard. All the Epsom salt baths and sauna stints in the world are sometimes not enough to bridge a big weight gap. I did see one of my teammates cut 16 lbs for a fight once. He is usually a pretty bubbly guy, but between the excessive sweating, running and hunger he was less than amiable that day. I personally think Anthony was a victim of Pena's enchiladas. He and Bollinger talked mad shit about her but they were eating her cooking like someone was going to steal it. So Anthony is bitching about taking breaks and seriously, how is that going to work when you have so much weight to lose? He was clearly the eatingist MF in the whole house and in the end even Baszler couldn't defend his ass. The whole episode is about how this confirmed clown (check my posts I called it week 2) can't make weight.

They switch off to talk about Davey for a while. He is lean and mean. Hungry but lean and clearly focused on winning and getting home to his young sons. Meanwhile, Gutierrez is still bitching about taking breaks and Edmond, Manny and Ronda look like to top of their heads are about to blow off. Now, if you'll recall this is the same, game playing, shit talking, enchilada eating, free pass getting motherfucker who has had the whole season to train and lose weight. Did he do that? Nope. He wanted to talk shit about Pena and try to come for Fissette. You remember that shit. When they asked him "who do you think is the weakest here" and this fool said Fissette. Naww bitch, that's you! You are the softest, weakest link. Talking about "I could take you". Not if you don't make weight jackass. I know what you can take. A seat and another enchilada. It's soft just like you. 

After the official weigh in he has an hour left and he comes in at 140. After a smooth 30 more minutes this asshat says he is gonna quit cause that's what bitches do. Sure enough here comes Dana to publicly embarrass his monkey ass and show him the door but first he gives him the opportunity to explain himself. This fool launches into the most pointless explanation of his mega-epic fail including saying that he doesn't expect Davey to forgive him. Davey for his part promptly says "I wont". Frankly I don't blame him. He wanted to earn this. Not get it by default. Dana points at the door and we bid adieu to Gutierrez and good riddance to big bitches. 

Next week is the last semi-final fight between Jessica Rakoczy and Raquel Pennington. They are both top notch boxers and they both really want it bad so this should be great fight. 

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

No Games

Even though I have seen the last two TUF episodes I have not been blogging about them. Holdsworth beat Wooten and Pena beat Moras. Both were decent fights. I understand that tonight Davey Grant is scheduled to fight Anthony Gutierrez. I really like Grant so hopefully he will give Gutierrez a run for his money although I have to tell you its disconcerting to me that Gutierrez is the sole face of the TUF commercials. Is that foreshadowing? God I hope not. With working this other job in addition to my crazy regular job I haven't really had the wherewithal to recap. I am tired. The fiance had shoulder surgery Monday of last week and its been non-stop. I forgot how hard it is to be someones primary caregiver. Not that the fiance is a remotely good patient, but he was much more agreeable once he got his meds. I am beginning to channel my "No Days Off" life from back in 09. I am seriously not interested in that so I am hoping for sleep and relaxation soon.

So while I am still awake lets talk about GSP/Henderson last week. Which btw I did not order cause its a month from Christmas and frankly I need my cash. First of all, I don't want to speak on it like I watched it. I have only seen highlights and heard a ton of chatter on it. What I did see was that Georges basically had a traumatic brain injury mid fight that had him talking about a break. So, a big WTF to Joe Rogan and especially Dana White on some "He owes us" bullshit. First of all, that man just went to war with a kid we all know is a tough guy. I personally am not digging the Great White Hope thing they are doing with him but that is whatever. Dana going on record to say he thinks GSP lost is some fuckshit. I don't care what your gripe is with the Vegas commission, you are the face of the company and its bad for business to be that vocal about who you thought won and why you think GSP owes somebody.

True story, Dana has made his money off his fighters backs 20 times over. If he wanted he could have a PPV fight with a new headliner just about every weekend. Shoot, at this rate its almost 2 a month sometimes so lets not act like GSP going away to take care of some personal shit would hurt his wallet too much. He has Weidman/Silva coming up, Rousey/Tate and from what I understand Maynard/Diaz 3. He can have a seat. Oh and fuck Joe Rogan too. Stop diggin in that man's business. Frankly if I had just gone 5 rounds with a damn grizzly and managed to live, I might want a vacation too.  Let alone time to let my fucking face heal and repair my damn family life. Stop asking me if I am retiring. Give me a fucking second to collect my thoughts. Fuck outta here Rogan. You get a seat too.

This is why I love Jon Jones. He seems not to give any fucks about Dana's money. When he wants to fight, he fights. When he doesn't, he just simply doesn't. All the kicking and screaming and tantrums in the world don't phase him. He just states his intentions and moves the hell on. He knows that the fans want to see him fight and Dana will get his cash, but they are on his time, he isn't on theirs. Hell, when he decided not to fight Sonnen the first time as a replacement for an injured Dan Henderson (with three days notice I might add) they had to cancel UFC 151 and Dana about threw a rod, but he also went and sat the hell down too so, yeah there's that. Oh and quadruple fuck Chael Sonnen for 1. Still being on my GD TV and running your mouth unabated like a broken faucet about any and everything. 2. Fighting Rashad Evans after promising me and the world that he was retiring after the Jones fight. 3. For being a generally devious and unscrupulous steroid using, right-wing con-man bigot and 4. Simply because I don't like your face.

Okay on to other stuff. Job two is giving me all kinds of access to people watching. We all know how much I love that. The folks there are really nice (no I am not gonna tell you what I do there) and come from all walks of life. I have decided that I secretly love hipsters and saying that disqualifies me from being one. They are so cute with their sleeve tattoos of old box fans and vintage cameras, epic beards and PBR (or natty boh if you know, Baltimore). This job really seems to attract them so I get to see all sorts of fun stuff. Just last week a small wide-eyed 20 something rolled in wearing an ironic raspberry beret with Warby Parker's on, a green gingham skirt and floral track jacket. Like Fuck! Why can't I be fun? I mean picture how adorbs me and the fiancĂ© would be? He in his suspendered slacks and tucked in white tank top with newsboy cap and handlebar mustache a la 30's Strongman. Me in my thrift store cardigan over my Atticus Finch tee and rockabilly jeans with navy and brown oxfords. Hair in a messy bun. Standard wayfarer's of course. Ugh I could totally pull it off right and not look like an ass at....38? Fuck. Lets move on.

Last but not least. Last week was long and difficult but I did learn something very valuable. When driving your fiance around in his truck, and all he wants to do is listen to Eminem's MM2 album, you might have difficulty being a nice person. Not cause the lyrics are road rage inducing. Naww, that ain't it. Not at all. I used to love Eminem. Still do honestly. Still rocking the first MM in my car right now. Still listen to D12s old stuff, still run to Renegade weekly. Everyone was siced about the new album release but me? Not so much. In fact, I haven't liked anything he has done since Encore. Even then I was like "Eh what's all this singing about?" but I let it slide. Now I just flat out cant stand it. The music itself sounds dated. The topics are all still the same. Your ex, your mom, your kid, ICP, pop singers, gay slurs, blah blah blah. I mean is there something else you can be mad at or talk about? My buddy Rachel and I talked about this a few weeks ago. Its the same shit, just repackaged. That and why lord do you have to have a singer on every track? What the hell is that even about? I liked it when you used to just rap. Shoot, I don't even care if YOU sing on your track. Just don't enlist some woman to do it. No Rhianna's, Skylar Greys, Dido's, Pink's or whomever. Please. I like you I really do. Always have. But this sing-songy 2002-esque crap is killing me. I know you are 41, but if Jay can find new shit to talk about (and he is damn near 45) so can you. Just do better.

Christmas is around the corner and my list is no where close to being accomplished. I feel like this is going to be a gift card Christmas for sure. It wont matter. I am studying for a huge test over the holidays anyway so its not like I will have a ton of time to engage in forced conviviality. I am however back on sweet potato duty. You knew it was too good to last didn't you? Anyway, the fam will be fine. They will get their gift card, I get my wine. Everyone is happy.