Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Its Audition Time People

So somehow I managed to miss the whole first hour of SYTYCD auditions! I don't know what the hell I was doing really. Anyway, the chicanery has already begun! Benji's damn sister has entered the competition. What did I say last week??? NO RINGERS and I already smell a fix! Not only that, but that fucking munchkin Shane Sparks is back with his bullshit You Got Served With The Lollipop Guild choreography bullshit. Then I see Wade Robeson's ass which I guess means he doesn't care that they stole this entire idea from him when he created the Wade Robeson Project back in 2003 on MTV but hey who is counting.

Let me tell you, the auditions are pretty wack too, and of course you would expect that to happen, its auditions. You get 30,000 fucked up auditions and like 20 good ones. Some of the folks are just fuckin crazy. Question, where do all these damn itty bitty shorts come from? Are they draws? Are they spandex? I mean seriously where do they come from? Furthermore, those shorts aren't made for minorities. I always see them on little girls with no booty, but never anyone ethnic. Ethnic peoples have ass parts, and more ass parts as they get closer to 30, so those shorts wherever they originate from, are beyond my comprehension. Seriously someone, tell me about the shorts though, cause I don't fuckin get it.

Remember it comes on Wednesday...and would someone please remind my ass cause I cant remember shit.

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Mexico Don't Want It With Oprah

Trust me when I say it. If you missed it, last night during the Miss Universe Pageant, live from Mexico, the contestant representing the USA Rachel Smith, fell during the evening gown portion of the show. She was already in the top ten and they were narrowing it down to 5. When they finally cut the last 5 girls, Ms. Mexico was amongst the cut and Ms. USA was in the final 5. That's when the block got hot and shit started getting thick.

Suddenly the audience starts booing Ms. USA during her final question. I am not talking about a few hecklers, I am talking full on boos and hisses and shit. I half expected some "1996 Source Awards" shit to occur. Even the hosts were looking mad uncomfortable. I gotta hand it to Rachel though, homegirl was poised and unshaken by the rude ass boos. That being said, she came in 4th runner up and Ms. Japan won the crown.

Though news outlets are trying to pretend like the booing was about Mexico's disagreement with the immigration situation and American policy, I really don't think its that damn deep. If you are on your home turf and you are ignorant as fuck, and they don't pick your representative over the chick that fell, then your ghetto ass boos. Its that simple, its like the kid who didn't win prisoner ball and now wants to take his ball home.

What Mexico failed to realize in their rush to boo Rachel Smith was that she is a close, personal friend and former intern of non other than Oprah "The Winfrey". Oprah is more powerful than Zeus and richer than god, and she has the contacts, the media access and the strength to wake up on a Monday, and sell a country Tuesday, trust and believe. Mexico doesn't want it with Oprah. Rachel Smith went to the South African Girl's School with Oprah and a cast of other celebrities last year so its not like they just know each other in passing Not only that, but maybe no one else is privy to the info but my guess is OW isn't going to take kindly to them booing a black woman on International TV, one that she personally knows and supports.

Sure she might not do anything. She might not even say anything, but don't you wonder if last night while laying in bed with Steadman, watching that shit go down she didn't lower her reading glasses and give Steadman the side-eye and say "Meet me at the border...its going down" ala Young Joc? Shit, there are a whole lot of folks that I don't particularly think its a safe bet to fuck with, but on the top of my list is OW. She looks like she would shank and shush a motherfucker in a heartbeat. Don't be surprised if that border fence is built within the week, you know she could get buck and have Steadman, Dr. Oz, Gayle, Rachel Ray, Bob Greene, out there kickin Mexicans back over the border while Nate Berkus builds the fence out of bamboo and gingham print.

I am just saying it could happen, Mexico if you see Oprah chillin in her beamer, listenin to might wanna make for the hills.

Thursday, May 17, 2007

Pop, Lock and Drop It..Almost

Just when I thought I might die of reality TV boredom, one of my favorite shows is finally coming back on. If you hung out round here last year you already know that I am prone to re-capping So You Think You Can Dance or SYTYCD (hey I ain't typing all that crap every time).

Don't get me wrong I watch other reality shows, its not an exclusive relationship me and the bad dancers. I love them, they love me, but really I gotta be able to watch other stuff. Charm School, I Love NY, Celebrity Fit Club, American Idol, Dancing With The Stars, The Ultimate Fighter, Deadliest Catch, Next Top Model, Pussycat Dolls, Coyote on and so forth I watch it all but I LOVE me some bad dancing.

If its remotely as entertaining as last season I will be pleased as punch but I don't want any ringers! No more baby boy of the king of east coast swing and his damn cousin. That shit is a fix if you ask me. No more vane egotistical shirtless boys from Slavic nations either, and I like shirtless boys! What I do hope for is more twirling boys and fast stepping girls who do big things to popular music that I couldn't with two pints of Ciara, a dash of Chris Brown and two fifths of the Godfather of Soul. You know you love it.

Oh and I might also recap the highly unpopular (but not nearly as unpopular as The Ultimate Fighter) amongst my readers Rescue Me. Was that a collective groan? Yeah well go tell it on the mountain or something, cause that show is damn good, and you don't know what you are missing. The magic that is Dennis Leary just cant be beat, its better than a T-Pain remix.....okay maybe not that good, but I guarantee you would enjoy it if you just gave it a chance.

So that's what is in store for you, and a lot of other really weird post about shit that just doesn't matter all that much.


Sunday, May 13, 2007

Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day Folks, hope you had a good one.

I know some of the stuff I say here makes it seem like I am not the most sunshiny kind of gal, but on the real, I am happy. Yeah I have my complaints, some of which I talk about, others I just keep to my damn self but personally, when I am not putting up with other folks antics and bullshit I like who I am inside. I don't have any problems with the person Ive become and I don't have any need to apologize for being exactly who I am.

I used to think I had to explain everything I did to every person who just didn't get it, but you know what I really don't. I used to think that I always had to be careful of what I said and did for fear I wouldn't be well received or heaven forbid my ideas may offend others. I don't run around aiming to offend but if you don't like what I have to say that's really okay.

I am probably just happy because I bought a really great dress this weekend. I don't have a clue where I am going to wear this thing, I mean it isn't the type of dress you can just roll out of bed and put on. I wouldn't dare wear it to the office cause its just too fancy for all that. I had an opportunity this weekend to wear it, but I am glad I didn't waste my fancy dress on a snore of a Mother's Day brunch.

Which reminds me I need to go more places that require me to wear clothing that I like, instead of the crap I normally wear. I have really great clothes...most of them on the cusp of being too damn small but none the less they are really great looking. I don't know if I discussed the 300+ pairs of shoes I own, but the summer shoes are by far my favorite. Of course I bought more this weekend, but how do I appropriately wear my new dress if I don't possess the proper footwear?

Mother's Day has been pretty decent so I guess I am feeling pretty good. I am sure someone will waste no time shitting on my good disposition tomorrow well before 9am. For now though, I am happy.

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

You Can Stand Under My Umbrella ella-ella-eh-eh-eh....

I know I have been gone since before the beginning of time, but Ive been busy. Not just sorta busy but extra busy on a level previously unmatched. I have a ton of observations so I will try to cram it in quick, I know yall got a short attention span and I do tend to go on and on. Come sit a spell.

First lets discuss Amy Winehouse and the amazing concert I attended with my friend Tia this weekend. Not only was the ride and the company and the picking through tons of vinyl really a great time, but the concert (despite the lack of seating) was great too. I had an absolute ball, and Amy was not too drunk or belligerent. My real fear was that she would go on some sort of bender and not make it to the show, but she was great and there were no issues.

Next up, I quit the whole UFC Ultimate Fighter thing...I told you I might. Its just too much for me. The boyfriend is watching it, but frankly I have other shit to do.

Ive been going to the gym religiously since March but I really haven't done much talking about it here. Its like every time I start obsessing about my weight I take two steps backwards. I am not on No White Stuff, but I assume I might get there once my best friend's wedding gets closer. I am down 10 lbs, but you know me, results are never enough.

Speaking of the damn gym, they had a fire alarm yesterday and put us ALL out of the damn facility. I was lucky that it wasn't too cold and that I had just changed, so I had all my pertinent shit with me. I don't leave shit behind to burn up. That's crazy, I may not own a whole lot, but the shit I do have I don't need flame broiled. They let us back in, but I mean damn I don't like having to delay my run for 20 min. I mean I dont like running to start but I did just build up to a solid 15 min, so its important that I stay on track.

I also tried to cut back on watching so much reality TV recently. It seems to be working, either that or all the shows are off right now. I am down to Celeb Fit Club and Charm School. I am sorta following Dancing W/The Stars and Idol, but not really. Most of my TV time is devoted to Ugly Betty, Grey's and Lost. Lets talk about Grey now shall we?

I am starting to be REAL upset with that show. I don't appreciate this "relationship" they pulled out of their asses for George and Izzy. I am mostly having a problem with it because Sara Ramirez is getting shitted on. Shouldn't Izzy be somewhere still crying over Denny? I would be. Why the hell does she want to be with George and why is George such a douche that he would want her? Fuck it, I mean its not about the actors, its about the damn writers and Shonda I need you to get a grip on your people.

I cant think of anything else right now but you get where I am coming from. I promise more later, oh and remind me to tell you all about my "mild" night out on the town.