Wednesday, September 27, 2006
I feel guilty, cause I haven’t updated this thing and its clear that some of you who come here to read about my antics have checked for new stories or new evidence of my mental issues (yes, I see you over there at the APA) for your case study and I have just been MIA. Well that’s because ladies and gentlemen I have been engaged in battle. The move from hell is upon me and between work and packing I am just a mess. I am sure I will have all sorts of funny stories about the fighting temptations next door or the local chapter of MS-13 once I get back to some version of normal, but until then I will be living off caffeine and concealer. Oh and BTW Terrell "Attention Whore" Owens, you aint slick. Go nurse your broke ass finger and stop being on my TV. The curse of the Eagles is upon you, and in the words of Jay-Z, "We dont believe you, you need more people." Thats what happens when you fuck with Philly.
Thursday, September 21, 2006
I used to work downtown and everyone dressed alike. Slacks, button down, heels or Skirt, sweater, heels. There was no deviation from the program. This is the nation’s capital for god sakes! The only place where men’s standard summer dress is a blue button down and khakis. There are a sea of them down there right now probably milling about the corner of 17th and Penn with the faux homeless guy aka Secret Service Agent and the Pervy Persian in the hot dog cart. I say this to emphasize that when it comes to work fashion, I usually go with standard. Now, I really like unconventional style but basically I can’t justify it. I can’t by trendy pricy items to run up and down the stairs like a mad woman all day. No one cares if my new cute belt matches my shoes if all they see is a curly headed blur. That said I still want those clothes.
So the new catalog came last night, and in normal fashion I start flipping through it, entranced by $380 shoes and dresses made of knit, and chiffon. I usually pick out the things I love, go back through and weed out the impossibilities and then show the rest to mom who regards them all in the same way. Blank stare, looks at me in disbelief, looks closer, face looks like eating a lemon, asks “You like THIS”, points to page in horror, rolls eyes, hands back catalogue.
So you say Avin, why show her if you know she is going to hate it? Ahh who knows really, I mean I could say it’s because I know someday she will think that their clothing is as amazing as I think it is, but that would be a big fat lie. I could say it’s because I think she just isn’t seeing the possibilities within the designs, but that would just be crazy. No folks that not why I do it. I do it because I actually enjoy the exchange. Part of me breathes a sigh of relief when I realize that though I am turning into her, I am not her yet and thank god for that! I like that she turns her nose up at the 4 inch leopard print pumps I so dearly covet from Bebe. I enjoy that her idea of sophistication does not involve red Mary Jane’s and a wide red leather belt. I enjoy that while we are so clearly alike, we are still so very different.
I think we will always be similar in mannerism and attitude. We are virtually impossible to tell apart over the phone, and even though people who don’t know us that well think I am my aunts child, it only takes one conversation to know who I belong to. I didn’t inherit her skin tone, her body style, her nose or her eyes. She isn’t the reason I love being barefoot, procrastinate or love makeup and writing. She is the reason my hair looks like a damn Chia Pet, I will worry myself into a grave and why I’ll never back down from a fight. She is the source of so many good things about me, and so are her sisters but I like that at the end of the day, I am still just Avin. Writing short stories, eating sushi, singing about Crunk Juice, slathered in MAC and contemplating a new outfit from Anthropologie.
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
We are going to talk all about Tea’s of the world and how much I like them. I am one of those oddball people with a tea infuser and bags of loose tea from the natural herb shop stuffed into my cabinets. Now I don’t typically come off like a tea person, but that’s because if given the option between Lipton and Coffee, I am taking coffee every time. I my friends am a tea snob.
Sad but true but my most coveted find in Europe was an assortment of loose teas from the Queen’s Grocer Fortnum & Mason in London. That and a jar of rare white orange blossom honey for my mom. She never uses it of course, but she also never lets anyone touch it either. This aint biscuit honey and she will really let you know it. Mom is protective of her gifts like that, but back to Tea.
I drink tea every day, at least three times a day, and mostly green tea. Part of me loves the healing and cleansing nature of tea, the other part is just jonsing for caffeine. I am sort of a strange person anyway, so its not bizarre to see me with a big cup of tea while I enjoy my latest dirty south CD. So, these days I am drinking this Allergy Tea I got at Smile every morning before work, two cups of green at the office before noon. Another cup at about 4pm, but I try to mix that one up and drink a Chai. Chai is great, but I am still off sugars, so Chai has lost a bit of its charm with me. Not that I ever drank any of my teas with sugar to begin with but I don’t like Chai tea without sweetener, it just seems wrong. I will however drink and Earl Grey that way but it seems such the normal thing to do.
During the winter months I typically hit up the Asian market and buy Red Ginseng Tea. I like that with fresh sliced ginger root. Yes I carry ginger root, I am such a damn hippie. A girl at my old job swore by it, and drank it every day as an immune system booster. According to her very persistent Asian mother, it was best with fresh ginger root. During a particularly bad cold, she stopped past my desk with the concoction and I was forever grateful. My cold was history in two days and I immediately got some for myself.
I’ve even stopped buying my crazy ass Grande White Mochas and started getting a Grande Green Ginger. My main concern with the move was that I was getting ready to move a butload of tea into a house that already has more than its share. I mean, I drink it pretty fast but my momma gets vexed about duplicates in her house. I think I need like a bin strictly devoted to tea with some sort of locking device, so she cant get in it and start deciding what stays and what goes. My son would be highly upset if she rifled through or trifled with his Vanilla Carmel tea that I make every morning for him in the winter. I’ve been known to steep some allergy or ginseng into his tea just to prevent the stray cold. It worked last year, and as long as its sweet he isn’t ever going to notice.
So enjoy a spot of tea on me, as penance for that nonsense yesterday. Take it easy yall.
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
Oh ha ha lets laugh about it Avin, lets lighten up! Lets make it a fun joke thing where we can discuss everyday why you aren’t beaming with motherfucking rays of sunshine about it. Truth of the matter is I am done crying about it. I have just decided I am going to be angry. I have decided to put this surgery on the list right under being told I look like Tisha Campbell. I am just gonna be pissed off before, during and most decidedly after this whole fucking ordeal. Just like I now consider that fuckin Gina from Martin crack a scathing insult, I consider this surgery in conjunction with happiness a blatant attempt to insult my fucking intelligence.
You go be fucking happy about surgery, I am going to go break something.
Friday, September 15, 2006
Two weeks ago when “The Boyfriend’s” son came to visit us, I allowed myself to have the tiniest size Coldstone Creamery. It was heaven….I also didn’t sleep well and felt terrible all night long. It felt like I ate a brick and your girl was NOT a happy person behind it. My girl Tia had a very similar experience with a bowl of Angel Hair pasta a few weeks ago. She quickly retreated to the comfort of a salad. Said she wont ever attempt that again.
So it looks like I don’t have to throw out all my 8’s and start wearing a paper sack, big relief trust me. I haven’t been running though, cause I’ve mainly just been packing or attempting to pack in preparation for “Escape From The Ghetto 2006”. If I ever find the CD with all my old crap on it, its got a blog (or what I called then an online journal entry) about “Escape from the Ghetto 2001”. I might add “back to the suburbs” to this one, but hey who knows. Its funny because I really thought my old apartment was the shittiest and that I was actually upgrading to the one I am leaving now. Well, I gotta say, at least the old one didn’t have MS-13 lingering around my doorstep. I will dig for it tonight and see if I can entertain you all with the story of my move.
Its funny but I was clicking through my favorite blogs today and I watched a clip of some girls just involved in some general nonsense. Making up songs, and acting loud and wrong. Its weird but you can only really not give a fuck once in life, and its when you are young. There’s no one looking over your shoulder or giving you the evil eye, and frankly if they do, you don’t care. You are just happy and free and it doesn’t matter what anyone thinks of you. My moment was being on the red line, after the fireworks with friends and singing the entire song “They Want EFX” by Das Efx. Sure we were flat out wrong for doing it, but it was fun and at the time I wasn’t thinking about how much I annoyed the other riders, I was just happy, in my cut off jean shorts and either Batman or Guess Jeans t-shirt. I always wore my bangs sprayed straight up and curled in what my mother referred to as “the waterfall”. My makeup situation started back then with a purse full of Lancôme products and Princess Marcella Borghese lipstick in Magenta. I was bummed when they discontinued it. I mean how was I supposed to look like Salt without the Magenta lipstick???
So do you remember your one free moment? Where you just didn’t care? Share with me, I am feeling nostalgic.
Thursday, September 14, 2006
Second single video w/ dirty ass Khia
Yeah Janet, I can see you’re excited. I mean your damn clothes keep falling off every 3rd cut. Oh hell who am I kidding, this is like exhibit P or Q by now. Janet’s nekkid ass been all over every publication in the country for months now. Personally I am sick of her talking about being freaky with the micro midget. I am also extra sick of her and this “nasty girl” image. I mean obviously she likes her sex, and apparently she likes it with midgets, but damn, can someone cut me a Janet break already?? I don’t need to know all these things about her personal life, and I damn sure don’t need to see the infamous nipple trying desperately for the last of its 15 minutes of fame. Put it away Penny Woods, just put it away. Anyway, I am happy to see they relegated Khia’s involvement to being on a random ass TV in the background. Looks like either Janet or the lollipop guild took a moment from their hectic sex schedule to actually think that one through.
Speaking of Tittygate, Justin’s CD is the beast. I am loving it *circa Justin does McDonalds 2004* and I don’t care what anyone says. Justin is my homeboy from now on. I am not elevating his ass to Stan status yet, but I am pleased with the result of Future Sex/Love sounds. That kid aims to please…which he goes into detail about. I had to rewind track 9 cause I really thought I was hearing things. I wont get into what I thought I heard but if you listen careful after the first chorus, um…let just say he went there with it. Whewww is it hot in here?? Anyway, that’s it for me, lunch is over and well, like Rick Ross says “Everyday I’m Hustlin.”
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
I didn’t think it was possible but Travis Barker managed to stomp on the image of what I thought was a decent husband and father. I wasn’t going to take sides in the Shanna vs. Travis divorce debacle until I saw this.
This makes me want to retch and frankly anyone who is willing to get with Paris Hilton loses all sorts of cool points with me, and Travis had a bunch. Sure most folks think he is a scary looking dude, and I will admit that before Meet the Barkers I really thought something was wrong with the boy. He is painfully thin and blanketed in as many tattoos as he could possibly get. Now, we all know I like tattoos, so that isn’t the issue, its basically the painfully thin issue. Well it WAS that, because now its him making out with that parasite. Funny, I never realized how close her name is to that word, but there it is, staring at me like the blood sucking little brainless twit she is.
Anyone who ever watched Travis on Meet the Barkers thought “damn he is a good man” especially with Shanna laying around so much like she did. Shanna is beautiful, but she is extra on the lazy side. I mean that didn’t stop her from acting or being Oscar De LaHoya’s baby momma, or winning Ms. USA. She seemed sweet, and he seemed sweet and when the whole mess went down I decided not to play favorites. Oh my how the mighty have fallen. First I hear about a public altercation with Shanna, then I see some old grainy ass photo of what is supposed to be him and the dumb ass making out. I had reserved judgment because I just couldn’t make out who the hell that pic was supposed to be of. But this! This takes the cake! Making out at a Kanye West event is a violation in and of itself, but with that thing??? What the hell will your kids think? Little Landon and Alabama going to visit daddy and his tramp. Seriously, I mean I just need a moment to process this bullshit.
I know Shanna is having herself a full on coronary episode behind this. I mean you go from being so in love with a man that you cant bare to see him leave on tour to having to throw a damn drink at his ass and explain why yall are divorcing on Dancing With the Stars! Come on folks, I mean am I crazy, cause to me this shit aint right. All I can hope is that Travis is on some sort of drug that has rendered him completely stupid. I mean, I watched him cuss out a wedding planner to get his soon to be wife the wedding of her dreams at any cost. I watched your wife search all over creation for the car of your dreams, and this is how you end it? This is why I have now decided I am on Team Shanna.
Honestly, Paris has to be the most prolific homewrecker in history. I have yet to understand her appeal, or her purpose on this earth. It boggles the mind why anyone sees fit to associate with her let alone make out with her in public. So, I say this to Travis Barker, the man I thought was a good role model. You are setting yourself up for some sort of Fred Durst-like publicity nightmare dealing with this broad. Remember when old Freddy professed his love for Britney Spears and got carried like a bag of Idaho Gold’s??
Yeah buddy, that’s gonna be you. But instead of just tucking your tail and going into hiding (and releasing that Croatian-cold war nightmare of an album) you will be left to explain to your friends, family and children why you sought to take up with a painted up troll. Even if you didn’t want to be with Shanna anymore, you could have had some decency and picked someone else. Maybe Carmen Electra, I mean she is single these days. Or perhaps you just coulda kept your biz out of the streets. Just went a long, did your +44 thing with Mark Hoppus and emerged on the other side a little older and wiser.
Lets just be honest, there were a ton of ways this could have gone, and most of those options were better than this.
Dancing With The Stars
Okay so this show is a guilty pleasure for me. Its always been a little hokie with the damn D list celebs and the corny Russian and Slavic dancers, but that’s not important. What is important is how entertained I am, and frankly I was pretty damn entertained. A few questions though.
1. Where the hell is Joe Lawrence’s hair? Someone call Beverly Johnson and get him a piece STAT
2. Doesn’t Tucker Carlson remind you of the one partner you hoped you would never get during that half semester of square dance in 6th grade gym?
3. Who knew Emmitt Smith could move like that? I see Martin’s ex-wife was there to support her man.
4. Vivica looks just like Madam don’t you think?
5. Where the fuck has Willa Ford been the last 6 years?
6. Someone hit A.C. Slater in the face or something, he is like my 13 year old hopped up on rock candy and Jolt Cola.
So far its good, and I am not irritated yet, but I am sure it wont be long before something Master P-like occurs and causes me to yell at the screen.
Men In Trees
New series on ABC, and sad to say I think I like it. I still have trouble buying that Anne Heche is un-gay now, but whatever. The writing is good, the characters are lovable and I might give it a spin provided it doesn’t interfere with Lost. I can only Tivo one thing at a time people. Its about a relationship coach, who is on her way to Alaska for a seminar and a book signing when she discovers her fiancé is cheating on her. When she arrives in Alaska it becomes apparent that the one thing she was hoping to get far away from is the one thing she cant escape, MEN. “They’re everywhere, even in the trees” she says to her editor. Which, in fact they are, cutting limbs and such. Of course she decides to stay and write her next book about men. I really love her editor, and her new love interest. I can see a slow boil there. So anyway check it out, its worth a look-see.
Monday, September 11, 2006
Okay I am back and yes the concert was fabulous! Seriously, words can not describe how great it was. She performed most of my favorite songs, and that’s saying something cause I like a lot of her not so popular songs like “The Roof” and “Fourth of July” but she did sneak a couple in there. Getting to the arena was another story entirely. First, traffic was a nightmare. Li and I were both coming from opposite ends of DC and we both hit the exact same traffic, passed each other, and then managed to find an event garage. That will be $20 American please and thanks.
So as I predicted my hair decided it was going to join the Swisha House Camp and get all chopped and screwed. That is the exact reason I wont be posting that super heinous face-too-close-to-the-camera photo that Li asked this guy to take of us at Jaleo. He probably set me up, seeing how he is a damn Cowboys fan! As a die hard Eagles Stan, I will make sure to throw batteries at him if and when next I catch him in the street. Needless to say, I do NOT look like that picture in real life, and I hope to never take one that disturbing again but Li looks nice though.
Anyway, we skipped Sean Paul and just went and ate…come to think of it, I never got my garlic shrimp. No matter, once we got inside there were all these signs with the “no pictures, no cameras, no camera phones” posted everywhere. I promptly informed Li that while I love her like a sister, she would be going to jail alone if they caught her with the camera. So midway into the second wardrobe change, Ms. Carey took to the center stage and I shit you not she was about 10 feet from me. Here’s the proof.
That was right about the time these two little idiots came walking across my chairs in an effort to get closer to the stage. Now, as an official Mariah fan of the highest order, I understand the need to get closer to your idol. I don’t however understand the need to block my $200 view. After Li yanked the head idiot down off her chair, we were promptly informed that “She paid more for her tickets” and “she had a right to be there”.
Well Holly Hobbie had no idea who she was fuckin with apparently. She had already managed to piss off about 20 people as she stepped on and over them getting to my damn seat and now she wanted to get between me and my concert? I think not honey. Long story short, after getting cussed out, and having security called on her, and having a husband and wife behind me get ready to stomp the shit out of her, she finally went back to her seat, but it was obvious to me, that the bitch wanted to test me because she kept looking in my direction. As if by mental telepathy, the wife behind me, and I said at the exact same time, “I’mma get that bitch when we leave”.
Well the rest of the concert went smoothly, and when the house lights came up, Holly Hobbie got on her magic rocking horse and got the fuck out of Dodge. I’ve never seen anyone one vacate so fast, which was smart on her part, because she had pissed off a handful of gay men who were plotting to “snatch her bald.” You do not wanna get between a gay man and Mariah!
So the night ended well, and we had a ball, and I dragged my sorry butt home tired and happy.
Fast forward to Saturday, where I finally got a chance to check out MAC Gloss. Ladies, unless you have always wanted skin the consistency of maple syrup then go right ahead and invest in MAC Gloss. Everyone else can just skip it. I went to the MAC store with my buddy Bmorecutie and we had the artists try out the Untamed pallets on us. I went with Take Wing and she went with Well Plumed. Both came out beautifully, but I had to let the girl know that I had someplace to be later that day and that “drag queen” wasn’t the look I was hoping to achieve.
She managed to work it into a natural looking state and she also suggested that if I was looking for “dewy” that maybe I needed to go with a good moisturizer like Studio Moisture Fix under Studio Tech applied with 109 Small Contour Brush and set with Select Sheer Pressed Powder. It was a very natural glow, but I really think she just put too much on me. You know, no matter how much you ask for natural, you always wind up with something between “The Birdcage” and Little Richard. I tried the look at home and it was a much better situation but then again I wasn’t attempting a land speed record for makeup application either.
My one ultra versatile MAC find of the day? Lipglass in Elaborate. When paired with Velvetella liner its beautiful. I didn’t get Velvetella, but I did pick up Elaborate. It’s a peachy gold that reminds me of Crystal Beach, but more refined. It’s a must have by itself or paired with a liner or over your favorite color.
The new H&M has opened in Columbia Mall, and I had a field day in there yesterday. Somehow I managed to forget that I had a $50 gift card laying around, but I put it to good use on a super cute sweater and a great dress. I don’t care what anyone says about that place, its trendy and its affordable, and if it doesn’t last, you aren’t crying over a pair of $25 slacks. Most of the tops in there are $13. I mean, how do you beat that? Sure, if I want something serious I will go over to Banana Republic and give them my paycheck and a pint of blood, but for quick, and affordable, yall can catch me at H&M. Sorry if that offends the clothing snobs, but single moms saving for houses don’t have throw away cash. I also had a left over gift card from Christmas that I put towards a new bag out of Macy’s. All and all it was a good weekend, Happy Monday!
Thursday, September 07, 2006
I am feeling better today because I will be spending my evening in the company of none other than Miss Mariah Carey. I am so excited I could just burst! This is the first time I have ever gotten a chance to see her in concert, and in the move to solidify our impending marriage (no I am not engaged but that’s not important) “The Boyfriend” pulled of the score of the century and got me and themakeupgirl tickets to see her. Now these aren’t just any tickets. These are floor seats that are amazingly close. Like 7th row back from the stage! Sometimes that man is just amazing I tell ya.
We’ve decided on drinks at our favorite downtown spot before the actual concert. Sean Paul is opening for her, but I haven’t liked him since “Gimme the Light” so I don’t care if we miss him. I already figured out what I am wearing, and if my hair cooperates today, I wont have to do anything more drastic than to touch it up with the flat iron and be on my way. I plan to be oh so fabulous tonight, but I am not sure if that means I am going to wear a skirt or not. I mean I love my jeans but maybe this occasion means I need to step my game up.
I have heard that its supposed to rain, and that will not be a happy go lucky- ultra fabulous look for my hair. I am an add water instant afro kind of gal with a rack of natural curl that refuses to play fair on most occasions. I basically slathered it in Ojon and pressed it to death this morning, so hopefully no curls will appear out of no where and I wont be forced to do the hairclip bun thingy that says a hair fuck up has ensued.
I promise to report back with all the details of the concert. I will even be honest when it comes to how she really looks in that hot pants getup I have been seeing on the net so frequently. Although, as her biggest Stan I will probably lean towards the everything beautiful and perfect mark (sorry about that haters) and attempt unsuccessfully to recreate her looks with the help of Beverly Johnson…KIDDING only kidding.
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
I feel like my world is caving in on me, and I am just trying to keep from crying at my desk every five minutes. I want to be positive, I want to be brave about all this, but frankly I am just terrified and more than a little pissed off. I’ve done the right things and I feel like I am still punished for it. Ahh fuck it, I cant even write about it without crying and I cant have folks asking me what is wrong. I just cant deal right now.
So last Friday we had a half day here at the office, and I took the opportunity to go to the salon and straighten out this mess on my head. I typically go more frequently than I have been going in recent months, but I am having to save money for my move, so I don’t have a whole lot of extra cash to toss around.
I love my hairdresser, but I hate her shop and I hate the folks she has working there. They are a rag-tag bunch of 20 something’s all talking shit about anyone and anything in Spanish. It’s a damn good thing I know Spanish so well, or I would miss half of the conversations in that place and sometimes they are pretty fucking entertaining. Anyway, these are some rush-rush gossip bitches that are prone to leave a perm on too long or you under the dryer and forget your ass. They also will blow your hair out within an inch of its life, which is why I don’t really fuck with them like that. I only deal with Ana, and that’s it. I gotta pay too much money to come out looking set up cause Carmen and them were discussing who’s CD they like better.
Anyway, my hair looks great as usual. You really cant beat a Dominican place for smooth silky hair. They will really lay it down for you. Back to my original reason for posting this. While I was under the drying frying in a set of the biggest rollers god every created, I was reading the new Glamour Magazine and you know what, they say that the new fall trend isn’t that Matte, shine free face we’ve all been trying to achieve for years with powders and blotting papers. No my friends, the new trend is dewy/glossy. See, this is where I get concerned because I am an oily gal to begin with, so putting anything else on my face that might make me look like I was in a freak chicken frying accident cant be good.
The only reason I am reserving judgment is because I do like that dewy but not melty look on other girls when I see it. I always think how hard that must be to achieve. Well lo and behold! My favorite friend has created a multipurpose clear gloss that can be used anywhere on the face or body to create shine. Still skeptical? Yeah, me too, so I am going to go give it a test run this Saturday at the MAC counter and report back. I’ll let you know whether or not this is a dewy dream or an oily disaster.
Friday, September 01, 2006
JT was good but the Sexy Back performance with Timberland was just okay, (I didnt realize Tim gained all that damn weight back! His suit was tight as shit)
TI and the lil kids were okay, but he had on the silliest looking hoodie.
Beyonce was better than okay but it looked like she was having issues with that trenchcoat/harness deal that dropped her out of the rafters. Once she got into the performance it went much better, but midway through she started channeling Janet Jackson circa Rhythm Nation. Then she had on some plastic hotpants that were just extra super tight. I mean I aint got that body so I guess someone with it oughta work it.
Luda and Pharell were boring and I thought they brought enough stray no taent ass with them, but I guess I was wrong, cause the Pussycat whores performed with themwere boring too. I mean, I couldnt figure out what was going on last night. Maybe cause Jack Black was acting so over the top.
Some folks I was just puzzled by. Lil Kim looked normal and clothed! Andre 3000 had on some conac colored riding boots that I swear I owned back in 9th grade and Ciara finally got her hairdresser to take a few bags out of her do.
Pink looked amazingly polished and pretty, and she didnt even take the opportunity to go on Nicole Richie who presented her with the award for Stupid Girls. Other than that, the program was just your standard award show.
Hype Williams got the Video Vangard award which I thought he deserved, but I swear when he came out on stage I didnt know who the hell he was. He must be on Oprah's bootcamp too.
Chris "Welcome to McDonalds" Brown
Rhianna & Neyo
Missy cant stand the rain
50 & LL just silly
Bey, Jay & Slim