Friday, September 27, 2013

TUF: Episode 4

Somehow, between live blogging from my phone and editing today I lost more than half of this review. To say that I am pissed is an understatement I can’t with this thing. Let’s move on. I got tangled in the season premiere of Law and Order SVU so I missed the mess with the guest coach Dennis Hallman. I don’t know if Tate sent him in there to stir shit up or not but I know that Edmond Tarverdyan wasn’t here for it, and apparently there was some posturing and challenge to fight. Rousey figured it was an attempt to get Taverdyan kicked off so she intervened. I hear there was some additional BS about the Caraway Twitter thing that Dana had to get involve in. Who knows man, just when I was going to say it was a drama free episode.

This week the house is happy. The girls on team Tate are getting the opportunity to actually spar with the guys. Sarah Moras says this is what she is used to, and she doesn’t hold back. Bollinger and Fissete don’t either, although they both seem uncomfortable going at 100% with the women. 

Okay, here is my two cents on that. My fiancĂ© and I have talked about this at length, and while I agree that most men are stronger I don’t see why a woman can’t roll or spar with a man at 100% if she is a trained professional fighter. There is a blue belt chick at my school who is nothin but go hard. I have rolled with guys at I would say 60% and if I were better trained, better conditioned and more than a white belt, I would be happy to get in there and mix it up with them. What better way to find out what you can and can’t tolerate as a fighter. Look, when those women come for you in the ring they aren’t going to hold back, so what’s the big damn deal? My fiancĂ© of course disagrees. Whatever...

There's nothing but happy Warrior Roxanne Moldifari who is clearly my spirit animal and possibly my son's real mother. She is fun and funny and a happy person who loves Anime and Jiu Jitsu and her crocodile socks and fun facts like the fact that the act of smiling actually releases chemicals that make you feel more positive. She loves Nerf guns and the guys love her and the girls think she's awesome. She actually fought Baszler in Japan back in the day. Baszler has a ton of respect for her. She is seriously happy on the mat and apparently she is versed in Taekwondo, Judo and Jiu Jitsu. She is not to be toyed with. Unless she is playing with a Nerf gun of course.

Then we totally flip the script to Jessica Rakoczy who is telling the horrific story about her shitty abusive stepdad (who they imply killed her mother). She started boxing to get her anger under control. At 36 she is the oldest fighter in the house and a world title boxer. She looks like she's seen a very hard very long life. This is a classic grappler vs. striker bout. 

Just before the fight Roxy gets a note from Pena and I think it's just known that Pena gives notes of encouragement to the fighters on her team so maybe Holdsworth shouldn't feel so effing special. Jessica is fighting for a secure future for her little boy. She tears up every time she mentions him. It's beyond personal for her. 

Know what? I am still sort of angry about losing my post so let me just cut to the chase. First round Jessica spent getting out of some serious submission attempts. Second round she caught Roxy with some fast strikes and managed to get the TKO. Of course Rox wasn’t happy and Baszler felt her pain. Jessica lives to fight another day and Rousey gets her first win.

Next up are Fissette and Grant who are best buddies and roommates. I don’t know if they are going to make this fight interesting for me but we will see. Seriously I am blown about this review. I had a ton of really pertinent observations and stuff that I can only write while in the moment. Anyway, I hope next week is better and Blogger doesn’t eat my post.

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

TUF Episode 3

Yeah I know, I am a week late but I got super busy with some real life shit and couldn't seem to edit and post this thing. Anyway, for those who care lets recap.

Baszler/Pena is over and even though Rousey is still pissed, Tate returns to the house with a milkshake for Pena and cake for Baszler. I still cant tell if Miesha is this caring coach or she is trolling us. In the words of El Debarge, time will reveal. Pena is floating around the house on cloud nine and as such she is sporting a British accent. The guys seem irritated by the faux accent she is rocking. Particularly Gutierrez. I don't know if I would dig it but dude is an ass.

So, Rousey still seems really obsessed with the Tate thing. She immediately gives a speech before practice about wining and losing and growing and maintaining. It's directed at Beal cause we all know he is hurt and despite the jacked hand "Crazy Eyes" is definitely game to fight Holdsworth. I am not however digging his need to keep this a standup fight. I don't know how confident he is with his Jiu Jitsu but its gonna take more than some boxing with a busted hand to win. 

So now the guys on team Tate (lead by Bollinger) are accusing Julianna of telling team Rousey about the intended girls match ups. First they tell Tate, then they confront Pena directly. It makes sense since Pena's already fought and she immediately deflected to Roxanne but I cant figure out how she would even know and the guys don't have proof. Pena isn't budging. 

Holdsworth tells the story of his black belt brother that passed. So far I can't tell who is going to win from the taping but that may change. These kids are already experiencing some serious ass withdrawal. Its only a few weeks in yet they stay trying to hook up. Could y'all focus on the fighting please? I bet if you win there will be plenty of stray ass at your disposal.

The girls on Team Rousey are now chatting about the "leak" and it turns out that the supposed list leak went to Jessamyn but she tells her team that she doesn't have a clue who they are matching. She also tells them that Bollinger told her that even if she doesn't know, it gives him an opportunity to go on Pena. SMH, y'all stay with the secondary BS don't you?

Beal tells the story about his cancer battle and he too has a brother he lost to gun violence. He wants this fight and he is cool and confident but so is Holdsworth. I am gonna go on record and say this is a boring episode. There is a lot of internal BS going on in the house and very little focus on the training.

I guess cabin fever has gotten the better of both teams (or its a calculated reality TV set up) and they all go to Red Rock and have a party. Rousey takes this opportunity to stir the pot and comes to stand a little to close to Tate's boyfriend. Now they are beefing, something about Rousey not being able to hit pads or even throw punches. Rousey sidebars to a discussion about her respect for Tate as a fighter but how she has zero fucks to give for either she or Caraway personally. This particular incident is fueled by the fact that Tate's man Caraway tweeted something about breaking Rousey's teeth out of her mouth on Twitter the night before their title fight. Edmond Tarverdyan is NOT about that life and he tells him that too. It didn't escalate, mainly because Caraway is apologetic about the tweet but make no mistake Tarverdyan wants to kill him. Tate sits back and says that since it happened so long ago and Caraway apologized, she should drop it. I don't agree with the tweet, but I do feel like Rousey has to get out of her feelings about that. Its just giving Tate what she needs to keep winning.

So the team Tate dudes, egged on by Gutierrez are having a ball with a letter that Pena wrote to Holdsworth. He is clearly DTF but shouldn't he be worried about the fight? FOH people. Fight first, genitals later.
I am starting to feel like Beal is letting his mouth is write a check his ass can't cash. Seriously, this Chris vs Chris fight has me vexed. Beal is doing his rendition of "started from the bottom" and Holdsworth is on some "if you can dream it you can achieve it." Hell I don't know which one of you is gonna take it. 

Round one. First whole minute they test each other. Holdsworth gets Beal down but not for long. Kid is elusive and he knows the mat isn't his friend. Midway through the round Holdsworth sticks Beal one good time with a straight right and he drops. Gave him the opportunity to submit the kid and hands Rousey her second team loss. Beal is crushed. Again, I am not totally surprised. I wasnt digging his complete lack of ground game and intense fear of the mat. Where is your Jiu Jistu honey? Anyway, this loss Rousey takes in stride (or at least that's the face the camera was shown, and the next fight is called up. Tate picks Nerdy Ninja Roxanne Modafferi to fight Singlemomanator Jessica Rakoczy. Something tells me this fight is going to be hard won and super emotional. 

Thursday, September 12, 2013

TUF Rousey / Tate: Episode 2

Week two starts with the fighters getting comfy in the house. Some folks are all about business and others are like party time! Gutierrez is doing the most with his "she wants me, and she wants me" routine. No one is here for all that pal. Have a seat.

There is already a discussion about whether or not the guys should roll with the girls at 100%. Tim Gorman is representing in classic jack hole fashion. He set me wrong when he referred to them as females so already he isn't my favorite. Shayna Baszler seems particularly incensed by his cave man bullshit especially because she is a contender, 10 years in, wrestling family, yeah girl we know. Here comes the obligatory chat about the first fight, and as much as I like Julianna she seems shook about it. Oh, and Tate brought her damn boyfriend. He apparently is a part of the coaching staff. So while Tate has the gym she notices that Tim Gorman is struggling. He states that he has a MFing torn hamstring. Seriously dude you wanted to act like you were too tough to roll with Baszler? Fuck outta here.

6pm rolls around and Rousey is marching in evicting folks. Tate seems annoyed by Rousey coming into the gym with her people loud and wrong but Rousey states off set that its basically psychological warfare. She also says that it's easy to be responsible for herself and fail, but letting her team down is her greatest fear. 

Of course we are back to watching Shayna and I am already tired of her bragging. Confidence is one thing. The constant shit talking is another and the Rousey team girls are just gassing her. This " doesn't deserve to breathe the same air and shes not the one" shit is tiresome. I still think she will win it, her striking is good, her Jiu Jitsu is stellar but I am not digging how they are so focused on her bragging. It's like foreshadowing and TUF is good for that. It would be just like Dana to get the #1 contender, coached by Rousey knocked off in week two. Commercial break and since this show has me hyped I dubbed TUF night as arm night. I have a fancy new 15lb kettlebell and a new compression sleeve.

So after the break Dana states that an MRI shows that Gorman has a detached muscle, not your average hamstring injury and he is being sent home. They bring back Fissette who was good but not great. Ehh we will see how it goes. We are now at the weigh in and Baszler is up to some swagger BS with her nickname card trick garbage. Didn't look like Rousey found it funny. How these folks are fighting at 135 is just astonishing to me. Like I would need an intravenous drip and a gurney. Once, as an adult human I was 140lbs and I looked like a bobble head doll. The idea of fighting someone at 5 lbs lighter than that is unfathomable.

So Baszler is now getting her hair cornrowed. I didn't realize they had an on site hair braider. Where the do that at and what does that pay? Chatter chatter more constant talk about how she is gonna win. Honestly, I now think Juliana is gonna win and now Ronda has bought into this BS. Jesus...can we get on with the fight? 

Here we go, two five minute rounds. They touch gloves and Mazzagotti gets them rolling. Pena looks good and massively underestimated. Early in Baszler gets a weak rear naked choke but Pena gets out. This fight is gonna be on the mat, trust me. Baszler has some great submission attempts all of which Pena gets out of. I still feel like she wasn't bargaining for this much of a fight. She IS the queen of side control though. Not so sure about spades. GSP commercial and more arms for me. I mean what else am I gonna do? 

Round two starts and since the girls were all "oh how early in round 1 are you gonna snuff Pena out" all that tough talk is gone. Pena seems gassed but she is NOT giving up. She is swinging for the fences and fighting like her life depends upon it, which honestly with Baszler, it might. Baszler is still built Ford tough cause she is eating some heavy hits early in the round. She definitely has a chin then oops, Shana just eats a knee and her nose is pouring and now she is in a very unenviable position a very deep rear naked choke. Hooks in...and she taps. Wow. So, I called this right?

Tate is siced, Rousey is blown and Dana is pleased as punch (of course) and Baszler is crushed. I don't think this one fight is enough to tarnish her rep, I mean anyone can have a bad match. Happens to the best of them. Rousey is sick with grief and takes Tate's celebration as a pointed jab at Shayna's loss. She is NOT happy, and she lets Tate know. Tate picks the second fight and its Holdsworth/Beal but honestly only cause Beal's hand is hurt. It's strategic but its a sucka ass move and Ronda is even more irritated. Previews do NOT look pleasant. Good shit people!

Sunday, September 08, 2013

Just An Observation

People, if you have sons please don't raise them to be gumps and suckas. Bitchmade grown ass men are in vast abundance and there seems to be no end to this disturbing trend. Don't send these sad bastards out into the world to be dealt with by real women. We don't need that shit. We have our own problems. Stop encouraging this nonsense and stop coddling these jokes. Do better. Its embarrassing to watch and even worse to have to put up with. If you have the misfortune of marrying one of these clowns I feel for you. I don't know how some of you women deal with it. If you are one of these fail men do yourself a favor and either grow a pair, or kill yourself. Happy Sunday!

Thursday, September 05, 2013

The Ultimate Fighter Rousey vs. Tate

Finally, a season worth talking about. So last night was the premier of The Ultimate Fighter - Rousey vs. Tate. I think they stopped numbering these things once they had more than one in a year's time. No matter, let’s get on to the good stuff. First, if you don’t know Ronda Rousey, Current UFC Women's Bantamweight Champion and the first American woman to medal in Judo (at the 2008 Olympics in Beijing, China) is undefeated and one of this year's coaches. A woman after my own heart (who loves food, men and violence) is the seed of a world champion Judoka momma who woke her every morning attempting to put her into an arm bar. The arm bar coincidentally is how she wins all her matches, normally in the first round. She makes it look effortless, and trust me it isn’t. 

Her coaching counterpart is non-other than Miesha Tate. Now I don’t know a whole lot about Miesha except that she and Ronda hate each other on a personal level and that her record consists of some pretty telling losses in her Strikeforce days. One to Rousey of course where she was defeated by first round armbar which dislocated Tate's elbow and Rousey became the Strikeforce Women's Bantamweight Champion. Another recent loss to Cat Zingano (who is also undefeated and was initially supposed to be the other coach but had to bow out due to injury) and two others a few years back. However, with a pool of professional women’s fighters that small, they have fought basically the same women in their careers. Enough of all that, let’s get to the tea.

So, Ronda walks in to survey the gym and here comes Tate. Ronda is VISIBLY pissed off and goes looking for Dana to clear up what the hell is going on. Dana explains the whole Zingano debacle and coincidentally looks like he is enjoying having these two boost ratings a little too much. If it weren’t for the fact that they could prove that Zingano was injured I would swear he did this on purpose. Honestly, I can hear the cash register in the background. So once Ronda comes to terms with this little surprise, they are off and running. 

They introduce the first fighters and Miesha is just a running damn commentary at the desk with Dana. Cosign Tate is her new name. Ronda doesn’t even engage in conversation…yet. So first up is Jessamyn Duke a really thin, really tall Kentucky girl who apparently did some modeling prior to answering her calling to MMA. This little country chick is scrappy, and her legs are crazy long. In fact, I had never seen someone use their legs to deepen their hold (other when going for a triangle) on the ground. I immediately dub her Pennsyltucky. She defeats the British Laura Howarth by triangle choke (you are shocked, I know) in the first round.

Next up, David Grant and Danny Martinez. Grant can’t seem to keep from engaging in illegal strikes and Martinez can’t seem to stay upright. Grant wins by armbar in the second round.

Moving on, they profile Revelina Berto (of the fighting Berto’s apparently) who comes from a long line of fighting brothers sisters, dad, aunts, uncles and family pets. My first thought (I hope she wins cause if not this is gonna be embarrassing). She is up against Jessica Rakoczy who is no spring chicken and is attempting to get whoever is keeping her little biracial son to put him on the phone. No dice, kid isn’t interested. She looks like she wants to cry every time she mentions the kid. Could be fuel, could be a problem. They get in the ring and Rakoczy gets out of several really decent submission attempts and goes on to put Berto in the oddest and probably most painful omoplata. Rakoczy wins

Then there was a three round fight that went to decision with two guys where my best friend said “Send them both home”. Michael Wootten and Emil Hartsner poked, slapped at and generally danced each other around the octagon for 9 damn minutes. Dana looked like “how did these two clowns get in here”. Wootten won (if you can call it that) but I still maintain that 135 is super small for a man and they were doing zero damage to each other being that both were so comically inept and light in the ass. Hell I think 135 is small for a woman, but what do I know.

There was Peggy Morgan who defeated Bethany Marshall by TKO in the first round. Somehow I don’t really recall this fight. I could have still been in REM sleep from the previous bout, but nothing stood out to me as memorable this morning when I saw that Peggy had been picked by Team Rousey.

Another scrappy wtf moment came from nerd extraordinaire Roxanne Modafferi. Doofy super spazz that she is, she is still more go hard than those two dudes I mentioned earlier and she went on to beat Valerie Letourneau (any relation to Mary Kay?) by rear-naked choke in the first round. Chick was all over the place, but scared she is not.

Raquel Pennington who looks like one of the cautionary broads on Beyond Scared Straight defeated Tonya Evinger. For her part, Tate decided to comment that Evinger had drama going on with her girlfriend, so she didn’t see her winning. She was right, but damn why did everyone need to know that?

Chris Beal who I think I like a whole lot defeated Sirwan Kakai by decision. Something about that guy seems dangerous. That and the fact that he managed to beat leg cancer and get back in the ring in less than a year. I will go on record to say that I think he will win one of Dana’s $25,000 for Knockout of the Season, Submission of the Season and Fight of the Season challenges. Also, he reminds me of Crazy Eyes from Orange is the New Black, so if I refer to him as such, you know why.

Last up before my workout caught up with me was Shayna Baszler. I still don’t know what to think about her. She has a lot of heart, a lot of mouth, and according to Dana folks think that she is the one to beat. She is certainly built Ford tough, but since she is the very first fight of the season this year and she beat Colleen Schneider in a first round armbar, I am really interested to see what happens. That and she has gone on record to brag about her 10 year career and that she is doing this to be able to beat Ronda. I like your spunk chica but good luck with that. Oh and you should dial it back a notch since you are on Ronda’s team.

Then there were some other fights I didn’t care about. Tim Gorman and Lee Sandmeier two Iowa boys duked it out. That one went to Gorman. I passed out before I could catch the others. So, this morning I watched the replay of Rousey and Tate picking their teams.

Tate got current teammate Julianna Pena, Sarah Moras, Raquel Pennington and Roxanne Modafferi as well as Cody Bollinger, Chris Holdsworth, Josh Hill and Tim Gorman. Rousey picked up Shayna Baszler, Jessamyn Duke, Peggy Morgan  and Jessica Rakoczy in the women’s group and Chris Beal, David Grant, Anthony Gutierrez and Michael Wootten for the men.

Some folks were happy, some less than. That Gorman cat was like “Who is Tate anyway” and he wound up being last pick on her team. So, there’s that already. I can’t wait to see how the season shakes out. I am always fascinated by the juxtaposition of amazing fighters to coaching skill. The two are definitely not correlated as we saw last season with the Jones vs. Sonnen TUF. Just because you kick ass doesn’t mean you can teach others.