You Talk Too Much, And You Never Shut Up

It always amazes me that people think you dont know what they say about you. Case in point, there are a few people that I am WELL aware talk enormous amounts of shit about me on a daily fucking basis. I am not surprized by it and hell they arent all that discrete, but the thing that always trips me out is who they choose to tell. Its funny because for every person that they believe that they are best buddies with, there is another one waiting to sell them down the river. Thats how it works. This is why you keep your head down, and your mouth shut and you dont get too friendly with people.

My mother taught me some very valuable lessons about life when I was very little. They were the same lessons her mother taught her. Perhaps not in the same way, but clearly the message is the same. Its like the paperbag at the grocery store. You dont get paper because its so much sturdier or easy to carry, you get it because its not seethrough, and people cant determine what you buy. That way they cant gossip about what your brand name groceries have to do with how much you make. I hope you dont think I am reaching here, cause I have heard pleanty of people gossip about how much someones shoes might cost or what they drive so dont think groceries arent applicable. Same goes for your personal business, hanging out with people who can effect your livelyhood and trusting strangers. Its stupid and it will always come back to bite you right square in the ass. Dont talk so loud, dont be stupid its easy.

Speaking of asses, I fell on mine Saturday, and I am in agony. Why does every one of my fall stories involve a cute pair of shoes? This particular pair of sandals had super slick bottoms and I didnt realize that low traction on high pyle equals a mid-air free fall. I actually hit the ground running. There was just no way for me to sit or stand or be still after a crash like that. I banged up my ankle, my elbow and managed to hurt my neck in addition to the massive damage I did to my posterior. I have been living off of Aleve for days now, and the bruise just keeps getting bigger. I am just happy I didnt really hurt myself, then I would really be accused of moving too fucking slow. I figure as long as I havent really harmed myself then life will continue as usual. This does put a major kink in my workout regiment. I was getting sort of used to going to the gym 3 times a week, but I dont really think my Latin Fusion class is going to be fun running around shaking a broken ass cheek.

Well my son returns Saturday, and if you know anything about his yearly trip to the sticks, you know that he will probably come back a whole lot thinner. He says that he hasnt been allowed to do much of anything this year. No movies, no pool, and his dad is never home. He is particularly pissed about missing Transformers. I asked him if his hillbilly daddy wanted to see it, but he informed me that his dad is wayyyy too busy working. I started to say that I didnt know carnies and grifters worked that much, but I guess summer is the busy season. I didnt, come on I am mean but I am not heartless...most of the time. I wouldnt say that to the kid, even if I was thinking it.

Oh did I mention that my ex-husband has decided to switch careers? My son tells me he is now running around the country playing "Dog The Bounty Hunter". This of course has me tickled in ways you cant even imagine. This will provide comic fodder for years and years to come, much like his former job as a mall security guard. I couldnt even wait to tell my best friend Suzanne about it. She actually couldnt stop laughing for a solid 10 minutes but before we could even get it together we were telling jokes. Who the hell would hire a former convict as a bail bondsman? He is probably splitting the take with the felons. I mean really, someone explain it to me.

Well, let me go ice my left ass cheek and cut my eyes at some people who deserve it.