Suffocate

Jesus be a high speed connection! I cant believe I have been MIA for this long. I was dying without being able to access the outside world. Suffocate indeed, more like foot on the throat. If anyone is interested in learning how to live without both home phone and internet access for better than a month, give me a shout. Boy oh boy do I have some stories to share. I know I have been missing in action for ever and a day, but really folks I am alive. Nothing crazy has happened to me, I am not drowning my sorrows in low budget Cabernet, I have just been disconnected from the world for.fucking.ever.

First, Verizon sucks. I have been attempting to procure a damn telephone for my happy little condo since before I last posted. These jackasses attempted to gank me (at 95 bones a piece) to get my phone jacks to work. After I stopped laughing in the rude broads ear, I called Comcast and got phone and internet. As you can see it just got hooked up today, so I was just dying to oh, I don't know...make a call??? Check my damn email! Lets not go there, this is a happy moment. I am back.

Second, my new job is the Sugar Honey Iced Tea! I love it and I love the people I work with. What don't I love you ask? Well being on a military installation has me locked thee fuck down. I cant access shit from work, and we all know I do my best blogging from the office. Now I have to wait till I get home to hit y'all off with the good shit. Oh and btw my shit is classified, so I wont be talking about work much. My stress levels are low now anyway thanks to the career switch and the complaints are few and far between. Shocking right? Yeah I know it truly is an amazing thing.

Third, you know how I was busy crying in my wine and complaining about dudes who constantly disappoint me? Well that shit is O-V-E-R! I don't know how it happened, but I managed to meet the most amazing, gorgeous, funny, smart and loving man I have ever met. He is in the words of my friend Dia "the bomb.com" and that is truth. He is just so responsible, so respectful and my family loves him. He does things like bring me groceries or put together all of the shit in my condo. He took me to meet his family over Christmas and yep, you guessed it they are amazing too. His grandma is so sweet and kind. She held my hand and she invited me to church with them. They fed me and yall know that counts big in my book. I warned them that I was like a stray cat and that by feeding me they may never get rid of me. They all bought me presents that day and I was just so overwhelmed by the generosity and hospitality they showed me. He has a great dad who always has a kind word and a friendly hug for me. His sister is a trip and we have already started the sisterly conspiring against "my man". He is always thinking of me, always bringing me flowers or washing my car or filling up my gas tank just because he thought it was a little low. I keep waiting to wake up from this like its a dream, but everyday he just re-affirms everything that I believe about him. Okay okay enough gushing about him, but seriously I never thought I could be this happy, especially coming from such a dark and painful place over the fall.

So, as I decorate, paint and beautify my new home I just feel so blessed to be in this space at this time. My son is happy and healthy and even though it wasn't under happy circumstances, he got to see his daddy right after Christmas. I got to re-connect with people I haven't seen in more than 15 years a few weeks ago. A very good friend and tortured soul left this world and I was devastated by the loss. It pained me so much because he was truly one of the best people I knew, and it was a shame that this world didn't show him the same love and support that he gave out. That includes that asshat of an ex husband of mine who should have kept his sorry ass home instead of driving all the way up here for the funeral. I put a lot of anger away that day. I set aside years of deep cuts and scars and sat side by side with people who I didn't particularly like but knew that they were feeling the same sense of loss I was feeling. Though no one wanted to speak to my exhusband, I babysat his ass the entire day, it wasn't the time or the place to start up old feuds. That day was about my friend, and that day was about his memory, and his family and how much we all will truly miss him.

So, Kevin Maas wherever you are I am so sorry that you are no longer with us, but I will always keep you in my heart. You were there for me when no one else was, and you loved my son like your own. Your family will always have a place in my heart and I will never forget you. I will always remember that Rockford Fosgate Amps drain batteries and they need their own to run. I will always remember that 4 Soundstream 8's kick harder than any set of 15's, I will always remember that Nemesis "Munchies for your Bass" and "Miami Bass Wars II" might make the back window of your vehicle pop out, and that as MC Breed tells us there truly is "No Future In Yo Frontin". May there be good friends and better systems in your heaven. I love you.