Pop, Lock and Drop It..Almost

Just when I thought I might die of reality TV boredom, one of my favorite shows is finally coming back on. If you hung out round here last year you already know that I am prone to re-capping So You Think You Can Dance or SYTYCD (hey I ain't typing all that crap every time).

Don't get me wrong I watch other reality shows, its not an exclusive relationship me and the bad dancers. I love them, they love me, but really I gotta be able to watch other stuff. Charm School, I Love NY, Celebrity Fit Club, American Idol, Dancing With The Stars, The Ultimate Fighter, Deadliest Catch, Next Top Model, Pussycat Dolls, Coyote Ugly....so on and so forth I watch it all but I LOVE me some bad dancing.

If its remotely as entertaining as last season I will be pleased as punch but I don't want any ringers! No more baby boy of the king of east coast swing and his damn cousin. That shit is a fix if you ask me. No more vane egotistical shirtless boys from Slavic nations either, and I like shirtless boys! What I do hope for is more twirling boys and fast stepping girls who do big things to popular music that I couldn't with two pints of Ciara, a dash of Chris Brown and two fifths of the Godfather of Soul. You know you love it.

Oh and I might also recap the highly unpopular (but not nearly as unpopular as The Ultimate Fighter) amongst my readers Rescue Me. Was that a collective groan? Yeah well go tell it on the mountain or something, cause that show is damn good, and you don't know what you are missing. The magic that is Dennis Leary just cant be beat, its better than a T-Pain remix.....okay maybe not that good, but I guarantee you would enjoy it if you just gave it a chance.

So that's what is in store for you, and a lot of other really weird post about shit that just doesn't matter all that much.

Later

Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day Folks, hope you had a good one.

I know some of the stuff I say here makes it seem like I am not the most sunshiny kind of gal, but on the real, I am happy. Yeah I have my complaints, some of which I talk about, others I just keep to my damn self but personally, when I am not putting up with other folks antics and bullshit I like who I am inside. I don't have any problems with the person Ive become and I don't have any need to apologize for being exactly who I am.

I used to think I had to explain everything I did to every person who just didn't get it, but you know what I really don't. I used to think that I always had to be careful of what I said and did for fear I wouldn't be well received or heaven forbid my ideas may offend others. I don't run around aiming to offend but if you don't like what I have to say that's really okay.

I am probably just happy because I bought a really great dress this weekend. I don't have a clue where I am going to wear this thing, I mean it isn't the type of dress you can just roll out of bed and put on. I wouldn't dare wear it to the office cause its just too fancy for all that. I had an opportunity this weekend to wear it, but I am glad I didn't waste my fancy dress on a snore of a Mother's Day brunch.

Which reminds me I need to go more places that require me to wear clothing that I like, instead of the crap I normally wear. I have really great clothes...most of them on the cusp of being too damn small but none the less they are really great looking. I don't know if I discussed the 300+ pairs of shoes I own, but the summer shoes are by far my favorite. Of course I bought more this weekend, but how do I appropriately wear my new dress if I don't possess the proper footwear?

Mother's Day has been pretty decent so I guess I am feeling pretty good. I am sure someone will waste no time shitting on my good disposition tomorrow well before 9am. For now though, I am happy.

You Can Stand Under My Umbrella ella-ella-eh-eh-eh....

I know I have been gone since before the beginning of time, but Ive been busy. Not just sorta busy but extra busy on a level previously unmatched. I have a ton of observations so I will try to cram it in quick, I know yall got a short attention span and I do tend to go on and on. Come sit a spell.

First lets discuss Amy Winehouse and the amazing concert I attended with my friend Tia this weekend. Not only was the ride and the company and the picking through tons of vinyl really a great time, but the concert (despite the lack of seating) was great too. I had an absolute ball, and Amy was not too drunk or belligerent. My real fear was that she would go on some sort of bender and not make it to the show, but she was great and there were no issues.

Next up, I quit the whole UFC Ultimate Fighter thing...I told you I might. Its just too much for me. The boyfriend is watching it, but frankly I have other shit to do.

Ive been going to the gym religiously since March but I really haven't done much talking about it here. Its like every time I start obsessing about my weight I take two steps backwards. I am not on No White Stuff, but I assume I might get there once my best friend's wedding gets closer. I am down 10 lbs, but you know me, results are never enough.

Speaking of the damn gym, they had a fire alarm yesterday and put us ALL out of the damn facility. I was lucky that it wasn't too cold and that I had just changed, so I had all my pertinent shit with me. I don't leave shit behind to burn up. That's crazy, I may not own a whole lot, but the shit I do have I don't need flame broiled. They let us back in, but I mean damn I don't like having to delay my run for 20 min. I mean I dont like running to start but I did just build up to a solid 15 min, so its important that I stay on track.

I also tried to cut back on watching so much reality TV recently. It seems to be working, either that or all the shows are off right now. I am down to Celeb Fit Club and Charm School. I am sorta following Dancing W/The Stars and Idol, but not really. Most of my TV time is devoted to Ugly Betty, Grey's and Lost. Lets talk about Grey now shall we?

I am starting to be REAL upset with that show. I don't appreciate this "relationship" they pulled out of their asses for George and Izzy. I am mostly having a problem with it because Sara Ramirez is getting shitted on. Shouldn't Izzy be somewhere still crying over Denny? I would be. Why the hell does she want to be with George and why is George such a douche that he would want her? Fuck it, I mean its not about the actors, its about the damn writers and Shonda I need you to get a grip on your people.

I cant think of anything else right now but you get where I am coming from. I promise more later, oh and remind me to tell you all about my "mild" night out on the town.

Saturday Ramblings

So I was all set to review the new season of The Ultimate Fighter, but in all honesty, I don't know that I will even watch it. I wrote a review of last week, which was hella juvenile but I never posted it. It was neither comical, nor exciting. Its was a chore even watching last week's episode and this week was almost worse and if you saw it, you know exactly what I am talking about. If I watch and it gets better I will let you know, but if not the next UFC review you get from me will be of an actual match and not this bullshit.

Ive had a lot of personal drama occurring in my household recently, and all of it stems from an unexpected illness and hospital stay. My dad has been in for a week now with pneumonia and a stomach virus of some sort. Basically, I have spent the last week trying to hold down the fort and keep my son on task. My mother is a totally different story. She is just running herself ragged back and forth to the hospital to make sure dad is okay. I don't even get myself involved in that. Part of me thinks she thrives on it and the other part thinks she doesn't know what else to do. I don't try to understand her cause her logic is so twisted most times.

That brings me to the Virginia Tech shootings. My mother, of course has some feelings about it and if you've ever read anything about her on here you know she has some sort of obsession with outcasts, loners, misunderstood or abused children and the like. So of course, she latches on to the fact that the kid was a loner, and basically I am fearing that we are about to have a new screaming match because anything like that ties directly back to my son for some reason, and then she will have to reiterate how she thinks he is being treated poorly and will turn into one of these children. No proof or evidence to suggest that type of scenario mind you. Just her, feeling that her grandson is weak, mentally challenged, incapable and pathetic yet again. I didn't get involved with it this morning. I just walked away and let it ride. I cant fight the good fight every day, and I wont entertain this nonsense, the kid who killed the students at VA Tech has serious mental health issues and that doesn't have shit to do with her grandson.

It finally got warm this weekend and I am glad to see it happen, but I guess that feeling isn't shared across the board. "The boyfriend" hates the damn outdoors. He hates sunshine and people and life in general I think unless it involves being downstairs in his basement watching TV. Okay, possibly I am being unfair, but every time I want to enjoy a little sunshine or just generally have a nice day outside of the house, I get major static. He is sitting here, right now as I type, watching a movie he has probably seen 50 times, just so he doesn't have to be outdoors, or involved with anything remotely fun. Why sit in the house all day is what I am saying? I blame myself really, I asked him to come down, and I should have just let his ass stay home like he wanted.

Happy Saturday folks.

Inked Till The End

Have I mentioned my love of tattoos? I probably have, I mean it is a huge part of who I am. I don't know how I could have left that part out. Seriously, though I dislike getting them, but I really love the end result. I don't have one tattoo that I don't adore. I couldn't possibly get a tattoo that I didn't feel I would love 40 or 50 years from now. Each is special and unique and perfect for me.

I do have one that needs a ton of work. It was the first one I got when I was 20 and it has not weathered the years very well. Its the only one that has any color, and to be honest it was a pretty poor piece of flash out of a book on a trip to Dallas, Georgia. I got sick, immediately. I have serious anxiety issues and what I didn't know about getting tattoos is that sometimes your body will take over and anxiety will drop you like a stone.

I thought it was just hypoglycemia, but really it was anxiety, so I waited another 4 years to get another. That of course went just like the first, except it was bigger and more involved and it took so.fucking.long. Seriously it took forever, and I talked the entire time, loud and annoying and what I assume to be fast. So here I am sweating, and sick, and talking a mile a minute. I must have been a pain in the ass.

I think it was 4 or 5 years ago when a friend decided he was getting these tattoos he had been yammering about for years. Okay that's probably not fair, but seriously I had heard about these damn tattoos for nigh on 10 years and I was glad to see him get on with the get on. I came to provide moral support, but trust and believe he didn't need it. See there are a couple types of tattoo people. There are folks like me that hate everything about the experience except the tattoo covered dudes who work in the shop and the end result, and then there are folks who actually enjoy the tattoo process.

My buddy got two gi-normous tattoos across his upper arms/biceps that took at least 3 hours a piece. He did them both in one sitting, with a one hour break in between. He never even flinched and frankly I was both shocked, amazed and horrified (both is two yes I am aware) that for such a skinny guy he could sit and take all that buzzing and digging and I couldn't even get one without trying to regurgitate.

His behavior convinced me I could actually get another tattoo. So I loaded up on all sorts of soda and candy and food, convincing myself it was a hypoglycemic attack I was attempting to stop. I sat down and 3 minutes in, I got sick again. Sheesh you would think I could learn, but no I just had to keep pushing it. That one hurt too, it was in the worst possible place and it felt like someone was digging into my spine with a hot knife. Why couldn't I be calm like that guy getting the huge Koi tattoo on his back as he snored. Re-fuckin-diculous!

The thing about tattoos is, if you get one its almost impossible to stop. Something about getting ink is so addictive. It becomes something you need to do, not so much want to do. For me its being able to have something so completely different and special that no one really knows about. Sure people who know me, know how much I love them, and know that I have them. I don't tell other people, cause there is a whole lot of non-judgemental judging that goes on when you tell someone you have even one.

If they have some preconceived notions about them, suddenly it becomes one of those things where they have to pretend to be cool with it. Or they have to try hard not ask you insulting questions about it. Its a big mess really, and I have yet to hear anyone formulate a good enough answer other than "I wanted to" and you know that never clears up a damn thing to the un-inked.

The other thing about tattoos (I am ashamed to admit) is that I love tattooed men. A man almost always gets extra points if I think he is attractive and then I find out he has tattoos. I love tattoo artists, I love tattoo apprentices, I just love tattoo culture. Sheesh its hard to explain but I just had this discussion with a friend of mine and she agreed 100%.

I guess I am lucky, I don't catch any heat for my ink, my mother thinks the tattoos I have are beautiful and secretly wishes she were brave enough to get her own 15 year old butterfly re-touched. My son loves them and plans for the day when he can get his own, my boyfriend is covered in them, and my closest friends have them and find them as wonderful as I do. Yes, I am very lucky indeed. My inner circle finds no fault with my choices, and I love them for that.

So I find myself healing new ink. It is by all accounts the most intricate and beautiful piece I have. Its also the one I am most proud of, because not only does it mean so much to me personally, but its the very first tattoo I've gotten where I didn't get sick. I cant stop looking at it and its inspired several people to go back and work on their own canvas. Its a work in progress and the first tattoo that I am not sure will ever truly be complete. I have plans for it, and its not even a full week old.

Can I say that I am finished? Hell no, I will keep getting tattoos for as long as I have enough skin and hiding places. The day it bores me, the day it becomes an afterthought and not a way to beautify my personal canvas, the day I cant wear a tank top and shorts without folks having a complete tizzy, then I will stop. Not that I would ever wear shorts, come on people I am crazy not stupid. I love what I have done to my body, and with every new piece I feel a little more settled.

Jesus Take the Wheel! UFC Edition

My beloved Georges St. Pierre has lost the UFC Welterweight title! All is lost and I fear I may never be right again. Okay I know that was dramatic but seriously GSP is the man, and how he managed to lose is just incomprehensible! I never thought I would say it but “I am not impressed with your performance” GSP. You let me down homie. Will I ever be able to chant along with the TV audience “GSP, GSP?”

I knew that shit wasn’t going to be an easy fight. Matt Serra is the beast and he proved it on last seasons The Ultimate Fighter: The Comeback. I was seriously rooting for him and you know what? He delivered. He never once disappointed me. He has a killer game on the ground, and he is probably as good inside the octagon as he is a coach. Seriously Matt worked his ass of, which is why GSP should have been on his game. He knew what he was up against. I mean sure Serra is no Hughes, but shit I could be totally wrong about that shit too. Looks like Serra’s first defense of the title is with non other than that cocky fuck Matt Hughes. There is already some simmering bad blood between them after Hughes visited the house during TUF4.

Seriously thought GSP, why? Just why? I was never as happy as I was the day you worked Hughes over took the title away. I could see it in your face man, you wanted that title and you were going to get it by any means. This shit is just perplexing, and frankly with a body like that, I should be able to see you kickin ass, holding the title belt over your head for years to come. Fuck I am getting depressed again, let me move on.

Speaking of bad blood, apparently there is or was a fight between Tito and Dana White??? This I have to see. I have long held that something was not quite “managerial” about Dana White’s physique. He doesn’t look to me like he spends all day signing checks and contracts (thought I know he does) just sitting on his ass bullshitting. Naahh, that man works out, and hardcore. Apparently, I am right because I found out recently he is a former boxer. This thing is supposed to be to settle some differences he and Tito have or had in the past, and its purely for shits and grins. Its not a PPV bout, its not a UFC:50-11, is just a plain old match between the two, where I pray Tito doesn’t pound the shit out of Dana so badly he cant go back to signing checks. Oh and Tito, please for the love of god can you get your girlfriend a damn sandwich??? She looks crazy these days and a whole lot like MumRaah. Its not a good look, so toss her a protein bar and one of them damn EAS shakes. Hurry, the gossip bloggers are having a fuckin field day.

So I realized this weekend that I had missed the first episode of The Ultimate Fighter 5. I did however check out the website and let me tell you I am not impressed. Where did they gets these dudes? There is not a Mike Bisping, a Ed Herman or a Kendall Grove amongst them IMO. The previews look like some drama time bullshit too. They are up in the house bumping chests and measuring dicks already. I mean, a little bit of drama is necessary to the show, like when Shoney Carter was throwing those damn water bottles in the pool and be-dazzling all his damn clothes, or when Chris Leben pissed on Jason Thacker’s bed in Season 1. All that shit is super important to how much the fighter wants to tear someone’s head off in the octagon. All I am saying is these dudes look like straight bitches, and someone better step up fast or I will be pissed off.

It's Spring Again

Spring here in the DC Area can mean a lot of things. First and foremost it means that the weather will be hella unpredictable. I never understand why folks get so excited and confused by temporary breaks in the weather. Its Spring people, not summer. Put your damn clothes back on. We had one 80 degree day and suddenly the population loses its mind and starts breaking out the flip flops and shorts. Oh and let me not even get started on the open toe shoes. It was March, and it had snowed just the week before, but I guess that one day was enough to make everyone kirk out and think it was Summer.

I bet it wasn't summer a day later when it was 40 damn degrees and no one had a coat or even sleeves. I bet it wasn't open toe shoe weather when that driving rain was coming down and it was 35 that evening huh? I say it every year but I am going to make it known here that March does not equal Spring in Washington DC. If you got cold, soaked, or were generally caught off guard in your summer clothes then it serves you right. Put some damn clothes on and act like you have an ounce of sense already.

This weekend we went down to the Tidal Basin to see the Cherry Blossoms, which was very nice. Of course there were some fools down there in their shorts and fuckin flip flops freezing their fool asses off. It was 6am, it was 40 degrees and I had on a damn coat and some clothes cause my momma taught me common sense as a itty bitty child. Here are some of the pictures we took.

So to address "Spring" let me start with this. When digging through your clothes from the previous year. Try them on first I beg you. Do not keep or put on anything that is going to leave you looking like an exploded can of biscuits. If there is any doubt in your mind whether it looks crazy or not, ASK someone. Do not hop on the Red line and spend half the ride tugging at your pants. Do not show the office the upper portion of your breasts in a top made to fit your son. Do not wear your "club gear" to the damn office. Its super unprofessional and just tacky as fuck. A good way to check and see if its appropriate is to ask yourself if you have ever "gotten low" in any portion of this outfit. If so, its a poor choice.

Please fix your damn toes before you go running out in open toe shoes. NOT that I condone their use until after tax day, but if you must be that bold and retarded go get a pedicure. Above all else, dress appropriately for the office weather. Unless you work for the park service you will not be outdoors. The office will be air conditioned, and probably cold, so tank tops, pedal pushers and thong sandals are also a poor choice. I don't even know why I bother, cause the promise of warm weather does bring out the bammas.

In addition, I need to address this recent resurgence of "Passing". Passing, if you are unaware is something ethnic peoples did in order to gain entry into white society. The would "pretend" to be white in order to reap certain benefits. Now I know some of this still goes on in the black community, but what I didn't realize was how prevalent it is in the Hispanic and Latino communities. I am well aware that their are some folks who would rather be ANYTHING but ethnic, but it doesn't make it right. What you do is deny yourself the opportunity to learn and embrace your own heritage.

Trust and believe that most folks will know that you aren't white, and all the wishing and the praying in the world wont make you become white either. I just cant figure out how someone would so deeply hate their own race that they would pretend not to be it at all. I find it sad, and I also find it embarrassing but I guess if your intent is to assimilate and become more than what you think your race can be, then you don't care how it looks.

Its crazy to me because I remember growing up and having people assume my mother was white, and it used to make me so angry I would want to fight. Not because it wasn't feasible for my mother to be white, I am pretty damn light, but because I was proud to be black, and happy with my blackness and I didn't feel any different than any of the darker kids in my school. Back then, it was an insult and the folks who said it, used it as such.

My son, (though half white) is a black man. He isn't a mulatto man, he isn't a biracial man, he is black. There is no confusion in our household about that. He needs to be aware that no matter how light he is, and no matter who his father is, no one is going to look at him and mistake him for a Caucasian. If he gets into trouble, he will be treated like a black man. If he goes for an interview, they will see a black man, and when he gets a job he will have to work twice as hard just like he does in school just to be on the same playing field.

He absolutely will be subjected to racism, the black tax and stereotyping. He is and will be treated differently all of his life, and no one is gonna stop to ask what color his dad is. These (though I am quite sure some folks wont believe it) are the cold hard facts and frankly if I don't prepare him for that, then I have failed at my job as his mother.

I would love to see a day when folks aren't ashamed of their heritage. I would love to see a day when people aren't afraid to check the box they belong in. My guess is though if this is still happening today, its not going to change in my lifetime and that is a sad realization.

Criminal Minded

I have a strange hobby, and its probably not nearly as strange as I think. I like googling old boyfriends just to see what the hell I come up with. I never had a hit until recently which shocked me to shit of course. I dated quite a few guys in my life who just swore that with time and opportunity they were going to become "Big Shit" but so far I havent seen any of that happen. Guess we cant all be famous, but for those of you still waiting to make it big I wager you'll never do it like this. I ladies and gents can officially say that I dated a Federal Inmate. Something about that just cracks me up.

I dated inmate number 7779311 [1] back before I figured out that not everyone in life was on the up and up. I was 15 and he was 23 and I met him on my way back from the grocery store. It was summer, I was irritated with my little high school boyfriend and I was walking, he was driving and frankly that should have told me something right there. Silly me, I was in my rebellious stage and the idea of a 23 year old boyfriend sounded like the perfect bad girl thing to do.

Of course that decision was all sorts of wrong. I never bothered to ask what the hell a grown ass man would want with a 15 year old, or why he seemed to always have other peoples car titles. I didnt ask questions about the several different vehicles he would show up in, or how none of his stories seemed to make any sense. Partly because I liked bad boys and mean men, partly because I really didnt care all that much and I was still in school. It totally wasnt a serious relationship, it was just me, classic Avin, acting out.

Shortly before summer ended I got back with my high school boyfriend, and just stopped calling him. He went back to whatever rock he crawled out from under and that was pretty much that. I always wondered about him though, he had a very unique name and an even more unique story. His bayou upbringing and his funky bullshit stories always made me wonder what the hell was really going on with him. It was another life ago, and honestly I knew he was some type of criminal, but whether he was a petty dealer or an actual felon I never figured out...till today.

I had just got off the phone with a friend from his home state, and she was telling a story about another criminal she knew when she was a young girl. Come on ladies we all have the "I once dated a bad boy" story so lets not pretend that we didnt m'kay? Her story totally reminded me that I had my own convict story. So I got to picking around online and googled his name and there he was in all his glory.

The charges? Identity theft of 3 seperates professional atheletes and credit card fraud. Apparantly he has been at this since at least 1995, and to make matters worse, the cops knew who he was and had been after him for years. I'll hip you to a passage from one of the news reports:

The Feds think "Jailbird" found out they were on to him. Police staked him out and spent a day casing "Jailbird's" assumed hideout, but they think he got the heads up and bounced. Police indicated that "Jailbird" had a set of brass ones, and called 5.0 talkin about "You aint fresh as I'm I'z, ya'll got 2 months to get your shit together...good luck". Repeated attempts to catch his triflin ass went awry.[2]

It was by luck that they apprehended his ass in the first place. I think there was some sort of registration problem with the car, and the girl who was driving took off and led them on a police chase. When they finally pulled them over, she had no clue what his name was other than the the middle name he had given, and he had all three ID's on him with his face in place of the celebrities.

Funny stuff if you ask me, cause my first thought was that he looks nothing like those guys. AT ALL, and not only that the guys dont look alike. I wonder who was falling for this con? Anyway, it looks like he is doing a 9 year bid in the Federal Pen and frankly I find it funny. No I dont find identity theft funny, but I do find stupid criminals to be hillarious. Remember I have to get my dose of ignorance from somewhere and "I Love NY" is just about over so sue me. [3]

[1] My favorite song from "The Time" and I love a good music reference.
[2] Sorry, yall know I cant type what was really said, even though I pretty much translated the article verbatim , my version was a shitload more entertaining anyway.

[3] I know what you are thinking, that chick is really crazy well you would be right but dont judge me the bible says not to.

Amy, Amy, Amy

I have officially declared March Amy Winehouse Month here at Avin’s Day. Its been a tumultuous two weeks full of ups, downs, and liquor so its fitting that I would choose her to represent this month. For anyone who has ever had a broken heart, or some shit to say or just made one two many mistakes this CD isn’t just pretty music, its an anthem.

For those who don’t know, Amy Winehouse is only the most fabulous soul singer to cross the pond (sorry Corinne, you’ll always be my homegirl) in quite some time. Her songs drip with emotion and sorrow, yet you find yourself singing with your heart full and light. It’s the most bizarre thing. Think Sarah Vaughn crammed into the teeny tiny little body of a big haired, makeup laden Jewish Brit.

I’ve only been waiting for this album for a year. It was released in the U.K. to serious critical acclaim and has only picked up steam since. This week is her long awaited US debut, and I just cant get enough. The girl is phenomenal, but of course as with anyone who is able to completely display their emotions in artistic release, the lady has a few issues. The largest of which being her love for the sauce, which makes her unpredictable and dangerous to both herself and a few unlucky others.

You get the feeling that she has this small window where her star will burn white hot and bright but will fade quickly if she isn’t able to get a handle on the drink. It’s the soundtrack of her life and its messy and complicated, but that’s what makes it beautiful. Its layered, its heavy and its thought provoking and downright as blunt as it gets. Its as smoky as any blues bar and so personal it reads like a diary. Its just Amy, and its worth the money, so pick it up.

Now You Know...

Today I asked old dude who sits in the office next to mine if he had some sort of single mother issue. This is twice I count that he has said something extra stereotypical in that regard and frankly I figured that if I didn’t say something soon the ignorance would continue. Not one to really hold my tongue, but certainly not one to stir the pot, I made up my mind after being angry about his comment on Friday to point blank ask him if it was his belief that black women with children were all unwed.

Now I know what your thinking, “There goes Avin again jumping to conclusions”. Quite the opposite actually. When it occurred Friday I had sort of made up my mind to just chalk it up to life in field, however after I finished telling the story to my mother, “the boyfriend” and a few of my homegirls, they all said the same thing: “I would have cussed him out”. I didn’t think cussing anyone out was appropriate, but I did think that it warranted a discussion. So I approached him and asked if that’s where his head was at. I wasn’t nasty, I wasn’t rude I was just direct.

I think he was stunned, and not so much because it wasn’t true, but probably because he assumed that I just wouldn’t ask him something like that. Too bad. There are things you say in a work environment and there are things you don’t. Asking me if “my baby’s father is still in the picture” is one of them. The other? Asking if the pregnant girl I just mentioned is married. Neither have a damn thing to do with the industry I am in, and neither pass for polite get-to-know-you conversation. I am not altogether sure which question reeks more of sheltered socio-economic snobbery and borderline racism but make no mistake they are wholly inappropriate.

So basically his response was “I’m not that way”, and though I wanted to enquire exactly what way he meant, I think the pale shaken and stuttering way that he responded was enough. I wanted to ask him why he didn’t enquire about my ex-husband or the sex of the child or its due date instead of going directly to the questions he asked however it wasn’t important. I also wanted to bring up the fact that he always says “Now you have two kids right?” but that would just be splitting hairs. The fact of the matter is I already know why he asked what he asked there is no need for him to deny or qualify it. For some people its simple math Black woman + Child = No Daddy. Which to some may mean all sorts of other things like welfare, uneducated, societal drain, crime and poverty but lets just stick to what I asked about.

I am still sort of waiting for him to dust off the two stock responses I am used to hearing which are “I don’t see color” and “Some of my best friends are black”. Sure neither have anything to do with thinking that all black women get knocked by random MIA dudes, but it doesn’t seem to matter really when reaching for the “I’m Not A Racist” defense. I don’t even know that he is racist, he most likely isn’t, but I do know that he hasn’t had much experience with black people in his life, which may be the reason for the funky inappropriate questions. I’ll never be quite sure whether he is completely oblivious to the obvious pitfalls of asking such questions, but I do know that if given the opportunity to ask a similar one in the near future, he may mull it over a moment or two.

Ehhh it is what it is but I am under no obligation to let such things slide or fester. If I need to know something I will just flat out ask, especially if I feel like you’ve made some sort of uninformed judgment about me or those deem to be like me. I would hate to walk around here thinking that folks judge me based on my professionalism and hard work when it may really be about whether or not I was married when I gave birth. That’s something you just cant assume you gotta ask and part of being Avin is being okay with who I am every day. Its asking the tough questions, or maybe being the unpopular kid and certainly its about not being afraid to stand up for myself. So if I make folks tummy’s feel funny along the way then so be it, but like G.I. Joe said, “Knowing is half the battle”.

1/3rd Life Crisis

I must be having some sort of rebellious episode. If you know me personally you know that I am calmer and more settled than I have ever been in my life these days. I am reasonable, and I don’t usually rush to flip out. These things my friends are new things. New things that the old Avin was not aware existed. Not flipping out is new, compromise is new and not threatening to fight, kill, break bones or burn down things is a HUGE step for me. I have just been calm and it’s been good. It’s something I have gained a lot of pleasure from and I think I have grown leaps and bounds personally.

I say all this to preface my coming statement about rebellion. Folks, I am stifled and I am bored and I want to scream and act a pure fool. I don’t want to wear my hair reasonably, nor do I want to smile and make nice. I want another tattoo, I want to listen to Cypress Hill and La Coka Nostra on 10. I want to watch UFC while putting down a six pack of Miller Lite (bottle please no cans and dont think of offering me a damn glass or a straw) while wearing baggy jeans and timbs. I want my old damn life back and I dont want it to dry up and blow away like its doing. I am mad that I am not louder or faster, or wittier or meaner or just plain more me every damn day that I get a chance. I hate hair dye and concealer and advil after a work out. I want my damn cigarettes back, I don’t want to stop at two drinks and I don’t wanna have to put on moisturizer every damn day of my life. I am turning 31, and I am pissed off. I am becoming my damn mother and it sucks ass. This reasonable reliable Avin that crept in and took over my world is just maddening, and I think I am going on strike.

Maybe it’s a 1/3 life crisis because that would make sense to me. I am at the oldest of my friends but no where near the sanest. Or maybe just maybe I’ve been too reasonable, too sensible, too fucking likable and happy for my own good and I am realizing that perhaps it doesn’t quite fit. It’s like a pair of really cute sensible shoes that cut across the instep and its slowly working on my sanity. So I am on strike against 31, and being a damn sensible doormat. I'll be at the tattoo place if anyone needs me.

Its Hoodtacular!

My good friend The DJ's Wife posted a quote from Jason Whitlock on the foolishness that is All Star Weekend. See if you agree: "All-Star Weekend can no longer remain the Woodstock for parolees, wannabe rap artists and baby's mamas on tax-refund vacations." I agree with her when she says "Because as long as you have celebrities, athletes and anyone else with money in one place, your going to attract two things: groupies and stick-up boys. And they both have the same mission: to get in them pockets."

By the way my extra ghetto god-sister went this year and frankly when I heard I was no where in the vicinity of shocked. This type of "Gangsta Boo Where Them Dollas At" mentality is right up her alley (and our mothers wonder why we arent better friends) so I am with Mr. Whitlock on that tax-refund vacation situation.

It reminds me of the time my cousin (who frankly is no less ghetto) asked me to go down to the beach with her and our sons. I knew it was a weekend in Myrtle Beach, but what I didnt know was that it was Black Bike Week. I spent the week fending off jackasses trying to touch and video tape me, ignoring cat calls and being real pissed off about wearing a bikini. It was the ghetto at its finest with my 8 year old son watching. I know you are thinking, damn she has a fucked up family and you would be correct. Anyway, there are a few places you arent going to catch me, and All Star Weekend is one of them.

Life 2/07

Why were the tickets for Wicked in Baltimore so damn high??
Now I have to wait till July to go to Philly and see it. Not that it’s a huge deal to go to Philly, but I really didn’t want to have to wait. I guess only one phenomenal once in a life time concert/production can be seen per year. I got Mariah last year so I shouldn’t be so damn greedy right? Has anyone seen Wicked? I know a friend in NY saw it a year ago and loved it and I have been dying to go ever since.

Ohh and I finally saw Smokin Aces last weekend. Totally worth the price of admission if you like a good action flick. Everyone knows I love action, but I could really skip gore. I was trying to explain this to the boyfriend and he of course was making it seem like one shouldn’t be any different than the other. For instance, I can watch someone in a knife fight but I cant watch folks get cut up in horror flicks. There is a difference. Then we got into the whole what I can and cant watch like Conan vs. Saw. Seriously I don’t do horror EVER. Its designed to freak you out, its not like actual fighting, its just blood and guts. Anyway by the time we finished the discussion I felt like he still didn’t get it and we had been (in the words of my granny) all around Robin Hood’s barn and nothing was resolved. I am still not going to see any horror movies. He has a better chance of getting me to a damn gospel stage play, making me watch a love story or catching me reading a “sista girl” book. Its not gonna happen.

I talked to a good friend of ours yesterday and as I suspected, she is having issues. My friend caters on the side, and frankly she is one of the best damn cooks I know. She has a signature dessert that she makes that everyone loves, and this summer she made one for my mother. Well my mom’s sister (the soft touch one who sees only the good in all others) and her best girlfriend came over and we happened to have this cake. Now the best girlfriend is to put it mildly a snobby, stuck up rich bitch who thinks the world revolves around her…and yes that’s mild. She started going on and on about the damn cake and basically just annoyed the fuck out of us till we gave her my friend’s number. I mind you was STRONGLY against this. I tried everything I could to keep her from getting the number, but in the end her daily calls were finally too much for my mom and she gave in. I never heard anything about her contacting my friend, so I figured as with most things in her life, she got bored with it and decided it wasn’t worth her precious snob ass time.

Fast forward to last night, and I hear that rich bitch has been acting a plum fool to my friend. Trying to get her to deliver the cakes and getting pissy cause her phone calls weren’t returned immediately. Of course this heffa used my mother and I as a reference, so my friend has been unreasonably accommodating to her. I told her she could put the brakes on that shit. That woman doesn’t have my seal of approval, and if she can’t carry her spoiled ass to my friends house to pick up her shit, then she can tell her to kick rocks. I was pissed but not shocked because that’s rich bitch’s M.O. Just bully folks and harass them till you get what you want…but not over a $30 cake, I mean lest get some damn perspective here. If my friend makes me come get my shit, she is certainly not gonna deliver yours. Once I told her not to do rich bitch any more favors, she was quite pleased and said she wasn’t going to do anything else for her. She really doesn’t need the business, and frankly she doesn’t need the hassle either. Cooking is her passion, but it doesn’t pay the bills, and I am glad she isn’t going to entertain any of that ladies foolishness anymore.

Oh and I spent the morning up at my son’s school trying to convince them that I live where I live. This song and dancing gets my thong in a twist cause you cant just make one damn trip up there, its always 3 or 4 to get shit straight. Anyway they want more shit, so now I gotta go back up there next week. When I left that bitchmade security flunky was in the hallway growling at the late kids. Of course he tried to be nice to me, but once you bark at my kid we are always gonna have beef. Frankly I have beef with a couple people in that camp. I am not too particularly keen on the Guidance bitch who acted like I wasn’t speaking plain English on the phone to her, and I didn’t like her tone during the meeting we had either, and yall already know how I feel about that damn English teacher with his college essays and graduate program projects. I do however like the History teacher but I think that’s only cause he is good looking. Sorry I know focus, but seriously he is not too shabby…I wonder who I could hook him up with?

This Is Why I'm Hot.... The Remix Part Deux

There are a lot of things I have been meaning to blog about, but you know life kinda snuck up on me and hit me with a two by four. Here is the condensed version.

ANS: Please people this is not a 48 hours mystery. She overdosed, she died no need to call Fred, Daphne and the Mystery Machine out of retirement. Give the baby to the grandma, and shut up already. Homegirl was an addict and why anyone is shocked that she died is just crazy.

Snow/Ice Storm: Why is my kid still out of school? Get off your asses and scrape up that ice situation and get people’s power back on. Wednesday happened, can we move on with life or am I going to have to hear the sad sad tale of how the lil kiddies were off another damn day from school?

The Gym: I love my new fancy gym. I love going there, I love my workouts, I love that there is always a treadmill available. I don’t understand some of the people there but that’s not important. What is important is my love for this gym and the Precor Cross trainer. I might go tonight if the old folks bother me.

Extra Child Support: Ex & Fat wife say “Check’s in the mail” yeah right, NEXT!

Makeup: I stumbled upon some extra terrible photos of myself from 2003\sans makeup!!! I was paranoid before but now I am just downright obsessed. I am\nmaking it my life’s mission to never leave the house again without enough\nmakeup on to star in the Broadway Production of Hairspray.

Grammys: Why the hell didn’t Corinne Bailey Rae win anything? I know the exchange with Kanye and Common was staged but I really did need someone to tell him to quit his award show bitchin. Other than that I have no comment.

Formal Event: If the invite says black tie, and its held at the JW Marriott, and the mayor, a local news caster, a former governor and the former mayor of New Orleans show up do not I REPEAT DO NOT show up wearing a Chinese housecoat and no makeup. I MEAN YOU STEP SISTER! Please cut it out with the wick wack snatch back and stop looking like you serve tea over at Silver Palace. Bad enough I gotta talk to your drunk ass husband (crab incident 06 and I aint forgot bitch!) but this is our father’s time to shine and you cant even step up your game? Get it together, learn what black tie means and do not embarrass our dad like that. No wonder “the boyfriend” called you Kung Fu Hustle, NEXT!

Ebony Magazine: Since when does Raven Simone have $400 million dollars?

White Rapper Show/VH1: Damn it why yall get rid of Persia!! She was hella entertaining and starting to grow on me. Now I gotta listen to John Brown’s Halleluiah Hollaback nonsense for at least three more shows, oh and did anyone catch NORE carry the hell out of him and JusTreehugger? Pure Comedy.

ABC TV: LOST please step up your game. Ugly Betty you are doing BIG things. Grey’s please get Meredith’s character a backbone this season already, she is starting to piss me off with the Perils of Pauline act. Men In Trees, can you not have Marin sleep with every damn body in town??

Yep I think that’s all folks, I am sure I will have something else soon, but right now that’s all I can remember to tell yall about. Big ups to Brooklyn….is it obvious how bored I am right now? Have a great weekend!

For All "Intensive" Purposes

Somehow, someway this damn header on my blog has drawn some confused ass know it all questions from people. I guess if you don’t know me personally you might think I really meant "Intensive" but for the most part, people have gotten the joke. Until recently that is.

I got a funky comment about a week ago from an anonymous fool saying "It's Intents and Purposes you idiot". Shit! Thanks Capitan Obvious, I didn’t realize I was so stupid! I mean seriously this is a blog, do you really get hecklers on this thing? Someone seriously explain that shit to me cause I don’t understand. I know some other bloggers who have gotten some rude comments, so its no completely far fetched however I find it crazy to get your thong in a twist over something said on a random blog. Especially something that is a joke.

I don’t know maybe I have underestimated some of my audience and for those folks um...there is an X in the top right-hand corner that will save you from having to view what you may think is a syntax error. For the rest of you folks who I am sure got the joke, be careful out there! The language police is out and what you might think is funny could be just the thing that sets them off. Good Luck

Dressed In All Black...Like the Omen??

My mother fears lots of things but as I recently found out, her most prevailing fear is of the occult. Not so much devils and pitchforks per-se but more like abnormal people especially if they wear black clothing and makeup. I grew up with a school full of kids whose idea of rebelling was playing dress up or wearing too much makeup. It doesn’t phase me and I never think “Oh god look at the lip piercing and fingerless gloves, he’ll kill us all” In other words, fishnet tights and rock music have never been enough to fuck with me mentally.

We actually had a huge swearing and door slamming argument that started because the little neighbor boy has decided to be Goth. He was wandering up the street with his black nail polish and eyeliner and I think she just snapped. She was all in a panic about it and she had attempted to tell me about it no less than three separate times that day. I was hoping not to have to go there with her, but she wouldn’t leave it be.

You could tell that she was just distraught and fucked up behind it. In the back of my mind I knew she was having some sort of mental issue, but I chose to ignore it. Looking back on it now I should have just drawn my face in mock panic when she attempted to tell me how awful and terrible his look was. I should have recoiled in horror when she surmised that he would someday shoot up his school complete with trench coat...but I didn't. It was a stupid move on my part.

I tried unsuccessfully to explain that Goth is just another form of expression for today’s youth. Much like our baggy jeans, ripped jeans, tie dye, and punk rock pink hair. It really isn't the occult its more like dress up. But there is no talking to her about what she thinks is devil based. So this evening while watching the International Ballroom Competition (yes I watch PBS) there was one couple that did a sort of Goth-like tango complete with dreaded black eyeliner. She tried to freak out and almost couldn't watch. She just sat there with her mouth hanging open in disbelief. I couldn’t believe she was having the same reaction she had to the neighbor boy. It’s a dance for gods love.

In fact a Revlon commercial for their new Midnight Swirl lip-gloss which is a black cherry-deep red-almost black that when viewed on the seemingly normal model she made a horrified gasp. She said it looked like her mouth was dripping blood. I guess the whole look is just too much for her but frankly I am just confused by her reaction. Its dress up so what is the damn big deal a little black eyeliner doesn’t make the devil go jumping into a person’s body. She isn’t even all that religious which makes this even stranger.

I have tried to chalk it up to her age group and what their particular comfort level is with things that aren’t completely normal, but seriously its just too much even for me to comprehend or apparently discuss with her. The fact that I may have to spend another hour convincing her that kids like that don’t turn into terrorists or that kids who spend time alone don’t suddenly go Goth is more than I want to have to deal with. I think I am going to start slipping her anti-anxiety medication, because her behavior is just getting out of hand.

Confidence?

There is this message board that I used to frequent that I have since given up on over the last year. The reasons are pretty simple, its full of angry, simpering people with issues and axes to grind. It got out of control years ago, but I stayed, thinking that at some point it might get better. It didn’t, and I bounced. These days I try not to associate myself with things that intentionally irritate, rile or piss me off. The folks on there are welcomed to stay, for my purposes though, its just too damn negative. That’s really not the point of this post, but I do have to give some sort of set up to the story.

In a weak moment a few days ago I decided to skim this den of debauchery and anger, you know wondering if some of my old buddies might be lurking. In fact, the boyfriend’s cousin is on from time to time, and we don’t nearly get a chance to talk enough for my taste. He always has a thought provoking thread or two, and that I really like. Anyway, I came across this posting from a guy that I have only met once in person, but as with message boards, I know more about him than I probably should. He is also a blogger and sometimes I will read what he has to say. He has quite a following from what I gather. In any event, something set him off and he was ranting about women and their body issues. How when we question what we look like or we dont strut around like we rule the place men dont find us sexy, they find us pathetic. The jist of the thing was how what men find sexy is confidence.

I don’t personally have any issues with that assessment, sure confidence is sexy, but I don’t really think men know what real confidence is. I think they believe that the puffed up sex vamp behavior that is clearly a put on is really female confidence. You know, the girl you see wearing her club tops to work with meat squishing everywhere trying desperately to walk like her feet aren’t in two stiletto vices? Yep, her. The one alluding to sex in every convo, the one flirting with every man in the area, or better yet the one tossing her hair and bouncing around like a stripper pole is going to magically spring forth from the ground. Yep, that’s their idea of confidence.

Some of us figured that act out back in 9th grade after a few mini skirts and low cut tops got the guys drooling, but really is that confident or just good acting? I don’t really know any women who go through all that bullshit for themselves. The point he was trying to make is that when we are all just wandering around taking care of business in our homes and families or are concerned that perhaps we have put on a few pounds or desire a new hair style, we are at our lowest level of confidence. That switching and tossing is when we are in command. To him I say in the kindest way I know how, “Go fuck yourself”.

I don’t want to get into this guys illustrious former career in the porn industry, or the fact that his fiancé knows nothing about it and I wont even bother going into how some of that feeds into women’s feelings of not measuring up. I don’t hate porn, but I wont pretend that it doesn’t warp a lot of men’s ideas about women and healthy sexual behavior. I will however address the fact that men are idiots. I don’t know why this continues to boil up every time a woman doesn’t feel good in her skin, but let me tell you we ALL have issues with our self esteem, (ahem penis size) and it goes a lot deeper than confident=sexy.

Back in the days, when I was young and naive, I too thought that if I just whored it up a bit that people would see me as strong and confident. I got a ton of attention, but what I never got for it was self esteem or respect. When I see girls and grown women playing Jessica Rabbit now, the whole scene just reeks of insecurity. I wonder what must she think is so painful and damaging about the real her that she needs to cover it in an obvious disguise? I didnt feel good that way, and I cant imagine that they do either though of course you tell yourself otherwise.

My friend themakeupgirl and I had a discussion about this in regard to Mariah Carey and her choice of outfits. I love Mariah and I am a die hard stan, however when I look at her, I see pain and confusion. We agreed that at a certian age you should have acquired life tools that show you how to be sexy without being naked. She would still be fabulous without all the T&A if she just knew how. She could be very confident in her voice and her writing, but those outfits clearly dont give that impression.

I am confident in my work life, I am confident when I am taking care of my son. I am confident in a pair of jeans or fixing a doorknob. I am probably more comfortable in my own skin than I ever have been and yet if I am not playing Vicky Vamp for a man then I am suddenly not confident. I don’t want to launch into a tirade about it because I am just not sure it even warrants one. I like getting dressed up, I like being cute, but whether or not I am confident shouldn’t be contingent upon my style of dress or my seductive (or lack thereof) behavior. Does anyone else think this is just plain crazy?

I have heard that argument in regard to what is sexy a thousand times. I just know that they aren’t the same thing and I am tired of trying to explain that to men who think the way to confidence is with your face down and your ass up. Women have a lot to contend with, from images, to messages, marginalization and degradation. It occurs every day. We are discounted in our homes, on our jobs, out in the street and then we are supposed to look at ourselves and go, I sure am confident and that means I am sexy.

Men just need to call a spade a spade. If what you mean to say is that a woman who has no inhibitions or doesn’t seem to care that she is either half naked, being ogled, or is being thought of as less than a person because her ass is hanging out then just say you like that. But don’t get it all twisted up with confidence because that is a totally different issue altogether. Real confidence comes from inside and isnt wrapped up in a frilly package all the time, and sometimes its just being you, and loving that you, and yes that is sexy.

As long as we love who we are without pretense or judgement then confidence is there. All the extras are just that...extra. I may wear heels when I feel like it, and I may not always like what I see in the full length mirror, and maybe sometimes I think my comfy jeans and my favorite t-shirt are the sexiest thing I can wear, but I dont lack confidence in fact I am plenty confident, what I am not is an actress.

5 Things You Dont Know About Me...Avinsday Version

So I got tagged to do 5 things you don’t know about me over at 99 Products, but then I realized that I have a totally different audience here than I do over there and thus a totally different set of things that you guys don’t know about me. Its weird I know, but I also wanted to tag a few folks that don’t read 99 Products such as Bmoresthoughts, Glib Girl, Charcoal Ink, Thedj'swife and 44 Black. Yes I am talking to you guys so get to it.

1. I have always wanted to be different so my hair has been every color under the sun and I used to do things just to mess with peoples minds. Up until I turned 28 I had a tongue ring, a nose ring and several tattoos. I am such a tattoo nut that I used to be a part of a body modification online community. I still have the tattoos and the nose ring (worn infrequently) but the tongue ring had to go. I am still secretly a huge admirer of large interesting tattoos.

2. My 13 year old son is two full inches taller than I am even though he was born 3 months premature. His birth weight was 2lbs 8oz and he was on oxygen and an apnea monitor for the first year of his life, now he is taller than most of the kids in his school.

3. My favorite song in the world is "Let the Beat Hit Em" by Lisa Lisa & Cult Jam. That song has to be almost 20 years old now and every time it comes on I want to get up and dance. You could call it my theme song.

4. I know bits and pieces of a few foreign languages, Spanish being the strongest of them. I actually understand and speak Spanish well enough to get buy but the others are more like "where is the bathroom" in Italian or the numbers from 1-10 in Hebrew. I also understand and speak a little Greek and I am dying to try it out on a trip to the Mediterranean.

5. Almost all of my ex-boyfriends have received a "Dear John" email as their break up notification. Its not cause I am rude, its just because I am so much better on paper. Okay maybe its cause I am rude, but frankly at the point we are parting ways I am really not all that interested in how its done or how you take it. Emails are fast, effective and don’t have that whole messy conversation element to them.

Stop Snitchin

Why is there always one office snitch? You know the one. The one girl who is always listening to your conversation, or the guy who claims not to like several people in the office and then you see them chatting out in the hall. Well every office has one. Call them the big mouth, call them the gossip, I just call em, office snitch.

There is one particular person in my office who stays dry snitchin every day. How do I know? Well this particular snitch is always minding everyones business other than their own. They are quick to say what you have been doing all day but you cant even figure out what they been up to. They are always sneeking looks at your damn computer screen, or listening in on your phone conversations. My snitch always smiles just as I catch them ear hustling its very unnerving.

Today the snitch was actually hold up behind closed doors with a person that the snitch has on MANY occasions said they cannot stand. They have spent countless hours complaining about said individual, but thats not really important because the snitch hates EVERYONE. Or at least they think that no one is working as hard as they are. Then you see them pop up talking to the higher ups, or kissing butt. Its not like the higher ups dont know that who the office snitch is, but I guess they have to entertain all that nonsense just to be fair.

After commiserating with the one person they talk the most shit about, the snitch quickly switched gears and started bitching about someone else with them standing not 20 feet away. That's a pretty damn bold move, I mean what if the person overheard them? Where I come from, that shit will get you hurt or beat down in the parking lot after dark. I couldnt figure out if the snitch was out to gather more information on the person or to find out more alleged dirt about others. Anyway it was unsettling, and I started thinking about that whole ghetto nonsense with the "Stop Snitchin" T-shirts which is nothing like this but did make me giggle just a little. What if I printed up a whole mess of those shirts with the big red stop sign except they looked like this:









So what do you think? You could customize your company in the blank. I wonder if the office snitch would wear one? Probably just wait to see who wears it and run and tell the boss.

Fashion Missteps at The Golden Globes

Some folks just need a come to Jesus meeting when it comes time for an awards show. Time and time again there are folks who just cant get it right and then there are folks who usually get it right and then forget to make that oh so important left turn at Albuquerque. I lot of folks got it right this year but let me just point out a few that didnt.

Take for instance Cameron Diaz. I know one thing she wont be bringing back this year...Justin.
She looks like she got attacked by a disgruntled costume designer for Gone With the Wind. There are more ruffles on that thing than at southern cotillion...and get some bronzer already for the love of Mike!























I love me some Meryl Streep...however she was looking extra frumpy last night. Exhibit A clearly shows her wearing a large sack with some twine wrapped around it. As for her makeup, she needs to get the makeup team from The Devil Wears Prada on retainer, cause the patch and spackle job they did for her on that film was flawless.






















Then there is Vanessa Williams who Dia lovingly referred to as The Cowardly Lion. I don’t know, it looks like she got a hold of one of Beyonce's old "Work it Out" wigs to me. Lets not even discuss that fur. I mean honestly she is beautiful and all that extra hair and fur are just doing way too much.





















Speaking of Beyonce, homegirl's homage to Flavor of Love was just disturbing. By the way chica you can lay off the grease, you are going to the Golden Globes not the Golden Gloves. There is just no reason to be that shiny and slippery looking. themakeupgirl wanted to smack her, but I told her all that grease would just make her slide off.