Monday, October 09, 2006

An Open Letter to Terrell Owens

Dear T.O.,

We hope you enjoyed your stay in the city of brotherly love this weekend. We enjoyed having you as a guest in our home after your unexpected departure late last year. Thanks to your visit, sales of both Energizer and Duracell batteries skyrocketed! Both companies send their thanks. We hope that the extra added security we provided made you feel all warm and snuggly.

We are also deeply sorry that you seemed to be so angry when you left so we would like to extend a second offer to come and stay and play in the beautiful city of Philadelphia. Its clear that your 14 point loss was not your fault at all, it was everyone elses...right? Please dont cry, not on the field anyway. I mean at least stomp your feet and hold your breath like a child, but please no tears, its embarrassing.

We know that you don’t need us anymore, but after last night it should be abundantly clear that we don’t need you. We sure hope you can now feed your family on the crow you must be choking on this morning. Have a safe flight back to Texas! I guess that power of one thing doesn’t really apply to you now does it?

P.S. Don’t be mad at Drew Bledsoe, he tried to get the ball to you, but with us sacking him every play, he must have been pretty dizzy.

Very truly yours,

The Eagles


Ashburnite said...

HAHAHA!! I love it! As a die-hard Eagles fan, I was happy to see him go and even happier we beat the crap out of his team this weekend.

Good riddance, TO.

Avin said...

Why didnt I know you were a fellow Eagles fan??? This explains so much about we are friends.

DotSpot said...

LMAO!!!! You and your letters, just incredible! Peace out T.O., if I could have watched I would have been laughing the whole game!

Avin said...

That bamma was so salty. The Eagles beat his ass back to Michael Irvings house.

44Black said...

So not neccessary.