Tuesday, June 20, 2006

The Day the Music Died

Sometime over the last couple years, music in general took a big fat nose dive. I don't remember exactly who started this crappy music trend but I am sure it was sometime right around Coolio and Gangsters Paradise.

I am particularly dismayed at the state of hip-hop in general. The shit that passes for music these days is just astounding. Now, don't get me wrong I am a rap head. I like it now, and I liked it then. I however don't like stupid shit, rap or otherwise. Laffy Taffy...wtf? Good Googly Moogly...Are you fucking serious? This shit I can not get with, and I have been known to bounce to some pretty ignorant shit. I blame this candy and nursery rhyme phenomenon on Nelly. Him and his Down Down Baby hand clap bullshit and Speedy Gonzales rapping have just fucked the game all up. Suddenly everyone can just run around singing about any damn thing.

Speaking of Nelly, yesterday themakeupgirl and I were discussing Janet's new single "Call Me" with none other than the prince of nursery rhyme rap. We agreed that this cut sucks the high hard one. What the hell is Janet doing singing this 22 year old bullshit anyway? The track is weak, Nelly is weak, and JD! Can we just talk about JD for a minute??? Jermaine -we represent the lollipop guild- Dupri. Tell me how you gonna set your girl up like that? I mean you manage to pull off the comeback of the century for Mariah Carey and yet you cant fashion a decent first single for your damn girlfriend?? Makeupgirl suggested that perhaps he signed a contract that he would save all his dope beats for Mariah. Otherwise, there is just no good explanation for this shit.

This is the same crosseyed midget who brought us So So Def Allstars "My Boo" and Chris Cross "Jump", "Money Aint A Thing" with Jay-Z, and "Welcome to Atlanta" with Luda among other songs. We know he can produce good music, and thats why I am so confused! All he can muster for the woman who still decided to date his crappy ass after the IRS came an took all his shit was this crap crap crap ass "Call Me" single with Nelly! Shit even Beyonce got Slim Thug and Bun B!! Nelly's last hit was "Tip Drill" and trust me, no one was interested in the lyrics to that song, just the video.

I mean we all know that Janet is no Mariah, and frankly I dont have Janet doing any serious soulful music, but shit if you are the reigning queen of pop music (cause Britney fell off faster than a billy goat down an Applilachian trail) the act like it. Be on some "I lost 70lbs and my new shit is tighter than Rhythm Nation, Janet, Velvet Rope, All 4 U, and Damita Jo, so fuck you very much and have a great day" shit. Don't come wack! I mean, if the midget cant touch the pedals in the Bentley, then you wouldn't let him drive would you? He is obviously not touching the pedals on this one, so don't let that fool drive your career! I mean, I side with who I fuck, but he isn't in charge of a multi-million dollar career and record deal either. Come on, what good is all that weightloss and photoshop if you wind up sitting next to Christina Milian and Tweet wondering what the fuck happened?

Beyonce is sitting somewhere right now counting her cash while Jay holds her purse, thinking to herself "Thank god, for Mr. Def Jam and The Master Cleanse". Speaking of Bey, I hear she didn't get good feedback on her new single with Hov either, but chances are it wont matter when her album drops. Its supposed to come out on her 6th 25th birthday later this summer, just in time to beat Janet out of the gates. Bet you no one wack like Nelly is going to be on her damn album. Mr. Def Jam aint having his woman look all crazy singing mother goose rhymes, believe that!
Alright, that's it, later!


Ashburnite said...

ugh...you know what song annoys the shit out of me? like nails on a chalkboard, I mean..
that stupid "Ms. New Booty" shit. ugh...everytime I hear it, I want to scream. "Booty booty booty rockin everywhere." seriously, what the hell does that even mean??!!

Avin said...

ashburnite - Girl I HATE that damn song! Its like they finally stopped playing it on a regular basis and then something equally as retarded will come and take its place!

BTW I saw a truck yesterday with "Git er done" shoepolished on the window. KILL ME

DotSpot said...

just when i think i've read all you have, you come up with more! i can't stand this music, and it's getting worst by the day. fyi: i heard the Jayonce song and it sucks harder than monica lewinsky at a democratic convention!

Avin said...

dotspot - Yeah I hear its called Deja Vu. Its still gonna sell better than Janet even if it blows.

themakeupgirl said...

HA HA HAAAAAA!!! Girl you know I HATE that song. I heard the Jayonce song and I wasn't blown away - but it will still sell buckets over Janet.