I got a ton to post so lets get to it.
I was siced for a minute when I saw that Donyelle and Travis had been paired together. A few posts back I said how big I thought they could be doing shit if paired up. However, that big shit did not come to fruition. The Lucky Charms Leprechaun better known as Shane Sparks managed to fuck their shit WAY up. The dance could have been tight as shit if only they could have seen what the fuck they were doing! Lucky went and made them wear masks. Great, now not only cant we see, but we cant get our moves in sync. Shane can fuck up just about anything I tell ya. Then they had to do the foxtrot. I mean does anyone look good doing this dance? It looks like the hokie pokie and no one ever likes it. I think they just throw that shit in there for Mary Murphy to clown.
On to Allison and Ivan, who were back with none other than my Latin lover Alex DeSilva. That man has it going on. They were off the hook just like last time. How is it you manage to get the same partner and the same dance that was the best dance of the night last time? Their second dance was probably one of the better hip-hop routines to Ne-Yo's "Sexy Love". I bought the chemistry on both routines, and I am digging old girls straight hair. No matter lets keep going.
Natalie and Ryan...Ryan, Ryan, Ryan, we need to talk honey. I mean I know I’ve said it before but in a dance routine, there should be at least one male. Honey, you are not it. I just need you to butch it up a touch or something. Stop having me thinking that Natalie is either dancing alone or with her sister Claire. Not that it matters but Sean was good. But my guess is you are going home today sweetie. Natalie of course was great in both the disco routine and the contemporary but I don’t know if its enough to keep her in the game. She has some serious competition these days.
Next were Benji and Heidi. Now, I don’t know about yall but it seems a touch unfair to pair these two. They are cousins and have been dancing together since they exited their respective wombs. Anything they do is gonna look tight cause they have history, not to mention they are damn good at what they do, but that’s beside the point. Their first number was a Broadway routine to a song from Dreamgirls. That tore the roof off the sucker, though I sorta felt like Heidi was holding back. The second number was a Mambo for your ass by Alex "you can get it" DeSilva. Except Alex what is going on with that big pink ruffled shirt? Oh who am I kidding, yall know I don’t care. Look, I gotta give credit where its due, and anytime you can spin a bitch with your leg, you got shit on lock. It was serious, and frankly after that routine they are the couple to beat. Sorry Donyelle and Travis. I mean I love yall, but this was some "other" shit that yall cant quite work out.
So overall there was some excellent dancing, but I swear fo god if they show Dmitri's ass in the audience one mo gin I am gonna scream. Let it go, you lost.
Busta Rhymes is performing tonight....I don’t quite know what to say about that. Anyway on to the next show....
Challenge: Story & Outfit for Model & Dog
Okay, now I want yall to know I LOVE PR, however...when I saw they were dressing dogs last night I almost cut that shit right off. See I don’t get the phenomenon of dressing your dog up. Pets don’t like clothing, and frankly look downright stupid in them, but for the sake of this blog and episode continuity, I watched it. Thankfully the dogs were only dressed for about 20 mins of the show, so I could contain my outrage.
Where do I start?? Perhaps with Alison, who when she saw this whole challenge was hype as hell and started working on the perfect ensemble for woman and dog. Homegirl was serious with it too. She was the only one I thought had no direction issues last night. She just ran with it.
Laura ran with it too, with her matching tweedy/marabou collar suits. Jeffery and Robert did a fab job too, and of course so did Uli and even Vincent with his crazy ass did alright too. Bonnie, Kayne and Michael all did fab too.
Lets cut the bull, I want to talk about this crazy ego maniac fugga Keith. Who are you? Really? I mean we get that you design well, but could you tone down the bullshit already? You do not know everything. You do not get to dictate who gets what sewing machine and when. You are not allowed to call someone "Bad Mommy" because you don’t like what they said to you. Most of all you don’t get to not do part of the challenge cause you think its stupid. Please get off your high horse and cut the crap.
Heidi almost ate your ass for breakfast when she found out you didn’t make shit for that dog. So what if your dress was off the chain, your attitude sucks and you didn’t finish the damn challenge. Had the nerve to go off on Bradley, talking about "you cant just give up". Hello asshole, at least Bradley had ideas for the damn dog. You weren’t even thinking about designing shit for that dog and you know it. I am glad that Nina, Heidi and Ivanka (who coincidentally turned out to be a beautiful young lady) pulled the fuck outta his card. He shoulda gone home for that shit, but of course...he didn’t.
Bradley on the other hand who 10 min before show time was still sewing his top, managed to wow the judges with probably the most fug outfit I have ever seen in life. Billowy ass balloon top and boring gray skirt. And the dog! Let me not start on the dog with the tie! I mean fuck, this dude must be talented cause he was no where near close to trying on this challenge and they loved it. I must not know shit about fashion. Anyway, last but not least were frumpy ass Katherine and Angela's crazy ass.
Angela's outfit was super terrible. It was like runway hooker with dog, but I knew she had fucked up when she started sewing those little rosettes on that skirt. Also, I need her to stop it with the skirts. They aren’t cute on her, and they are worse on the models. Just cut it out already, and stop the Tom Foolery.
Katherine...honey Tim Gunn totally warned you. Why couldn’t you just work out that lil hoodie for the model? The dogs outfit was better than the model's. Everyone and their momma knows that when Tim Gunn hates something, or suggests help, you listen like he just gave you winning lottery numbers. Don’t be like "oh I didn’t have time" bitch make time! Without the hoodie, the judges immediately started fucking with your dress design, and bam just like that, your ass is sent packing.
On another note, Uli won the challenge which surprised the shit out of me. Her creation was fab, but Alison's was so much better in my opinion. Judging from Alison's reaction, I wasn’t the only one shocked she didn’t win.
Anyway, next week someone is getting thrown off the show. I hope its as good as the 50-11 previews suggest, cause they have been promoting it since before the season started. I hope its Keith. Seriously dude, who are you???