Thursday, July 20, 2006

Throw'em Under The Bus Wednesday

Okay folks I am back on track with the SYTYCD update, and I got a sprinkle of Project Runway too.


I didn’t update last week cause I was in Vegas but if you don’t know, Ashley and Musa got the boot. I didn’t watch it because I was in Vegas doing Vegas things which don’t have shit to do with regular network TV.

So this week, they are down to 8 and they decided to step the game up. These poor tired ass kids have to do 3 routines. Two paired and one solo and they only had one week to perfect it.
I won’t go in order because the program was like 2 hours and I think I’ve figured out that watching too much TV has a direct correlation to this gray hair I found. Anyway, let’s start!

Martha and Ivan
First dance was a hip-hop routine to Cassie's Me and U (which btw is starting to grow on me, and I am starting to agree with the masses that she looks like Melissa from RWNO) that was just a hair off. Martha seemed like she was sleep the whole time but Ivan did just fine.
Their next routine was a Waltz that in the words of Diddy looked "Real Regular".
Martha's solo to Gwen Stefani's "What ya waiting for" was extra terrible, and I couldn’t figure out that big green floppy ass hat or her outfit. Ivan did the same shit he always does with the pop and lock, but this time he did it with those skate-shoes and an air hump move that failed miserably.

Next, Donyelle who had the misfortune of being chosen by none other than that ballroom bitch Dmitri. First dance was the Lindy Hop and homegirl ripped it as usual, and what's that??? Did Dmitri choke? Couldn’t get that hop right huh? Well good luck tossing her under the bus. Girlfriend looks like she can beat the Russian right out of you, don’t play.
Then they did a Mary Murphy Samba to the BEP's "Hey Mama". Ballroom Bitch was showboating as usual, and had his shirt open to his naval. Donyelle did her thing and for once I never got an actual critique from the judges. They must have been tired of growing gray too.
Donyelle's solo to Bun B's "Git it" was of theee hook. Dmitri did that same ass bullshit. NEXT

Travis and Heidi did a fierce Paso Doble where she was hanging by her legs from his back in the beginning. Then they did a contemporary number to some Celine Dion song, where they both did an excellent job, Travis more so with that one than Heidi, who coincidentally is looking less like the crypt keeper now that someone else is doing her makeup for her.
Travis solo was beautiful, and Travis, sweetie, you know I love ya, and I know you are a Mo, but you gotta make it a lil less girly sweetie. Please and thanks.
Heidi ripped it again as usual, no question no comments, just flawless.

Then there were Alison and Ryan.....where do I even begin?
First they are doing a Mia Michaels contemporary number and Ryan's legs look better than Beyonce's. Is that a black onesie? Are they wearing eye patches!!! What is this Pirates of the Caribbean nonsense??? Then Broadway...who is the woman in this dance I mean really? Ryan why aren’t you the one wearing the garters?? Ryan's solo was alright but I need him to stop adding so much sugar to the tank. Alison was alright, and I think she is safe this week, but who really knows.

Last but not least are Natalie and Benji
Great Jazz routine to India.Arie's Wonderful. They are both excellent dancers. I felt like they might just give Donyelle and Bitch Boy a run for the finish. Ooops I may have spoken too soon, cause that hip-hop number to Pitbull's "She's Freaky" was um not so hot. I need Shane Leprechaun Sparks to sit the fuck down already. His routines are always shitty no matter who does them, and stop trying to make that girl move her ass cheeks independently. You are watching WAY too much porn and Luke videos.
Natalie's solo was beautiful as usual, and Benji was on fire.

My going home prediction? Ryan and Martha

Project Runway: Throwing folks under the bus continues...

Challenge: Pageant Gown for Miss USA
Everyone listened except two groups Milan and the lil dykey girl and Wendy Pepper Volume 2 and the neurotic professor of design disaster. One dress looked like something the cat threw up, and the other had these space wings. The issue with WP2 and the Neurotic Professor wasn’t the dress as much as these two spent the entire time fighting. I never knew who did what or was going to do what. All I knew was when elimination time came, there was serious dodging of big yellow busses. Both of them were calling each other to the corner of first and front and in the end...neither of them went home.

Ratings is my theory, but poor poor Milan with his rotten log dress and his desire to prove to mommy dearest that he was a REAL designer. He cried bitterly as he packed his things, and I felt sorry for him but couldn’t quite gauge whether or not his accent was real or a pretentious accessory. Anyway, the dykey girl tossed him under the bus too. Talking about how he should go home if it was between the two of them. Bitch you saw that dress was too short too, least you could have done was add some fabric or finish the hem. Poor Milan. Anyway, that’s that folks, until next week.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

HA HAHAAAAA!!! Not the leprechan!! Shane Sparks is definitley watching too much porn or something...with his lil midget self.