I didn’t think it was possible but Travis Barker managed to stomp on the image of what I thought was a decent husband and father. I wasn’t going to take sides in the Shanna vs. Travis divorce debacle until I saw this.
This makes me want to retch and frankly anyone who is willing to get with Paris Hilton loses all sorts of cool points with me, and Travis had a bunch. Sure most folks think he is a scary looking dude, and I will admit that before Meet the Barkers I really thought something was wrong with the boy. He is painfully thin and blanketed in as many tattoos as he could possibly get. Now, we all know I like tattoos, so that isn’t the issue, its basically the painfully thin issue. Well it WAS that, because now its him making out with that parasite. Funny, I never realized how close her name is to that word, but there it is, staring at me like the blood sucking little brainless twit she is.
Anyone who ever watched Travis on Meet the Barkers thought “damn he is a good man” especially with Shanna laying around so much like she did. Shanna is beautiful, but she is extra on the lazy side. I mean that didn’t stop her from acting or being Oscar De LaHoya’s baby momma, or winning Ms. USA. She seemed sweet, and he seemed sweet and when the whole mess went down I decided not to play favorites. Oh my how the mighty have fallen. First I hear about a public altercation with Shanna, then I see some old grainy ass photo of what is supposed to be him and the dumb ass making out. I had reserved judgment because I just couldn’t make out who the hell that pic was supposed to be of. But this! This takes the cake! Making out at a Kanye West event is a violation in and of itself, but with that thing??? What the hell will your kids think? Little Landon and Alabama going to visit daddy and his tramp. Seriously, I mean I just need a moment to process this bullshit.
I know Shanna is having herself a full on coronary episode behind this. I mean you go from being so in love with a man that you cant bare to see him leave on tour to having to throw a damn drink at his ass and explain why yall are divorcing on Dancing With the Stars! Come on folks, I mean am I crazy, cause to me this shit aint right. All I can hope is that Travis is on some sort of drug that has rendered him completely stupid. I mean, I watched him cuss out a wedding planner to get his soon to be wife the wedding of her dreams at any cost. I watched your wife search all over creation for the car of your dreams, and this is how you end it? This is why I have now decided I am on Team Shanna.
Honestly, Paris has to be the most prolific homewrecker in history. I have yet to understand her appeal, or her purpose on this earth. It boggles the mind why anyone sees fit to associate with her let alone make out with her in public. So, I say this to Travis Barker, the man I thought was a good role model. You are setting yourself up for some sort of Fred Durst-like publicity nightmare dealing with this broad. Remember when old Freddy professed his love for Britney Spears and got carried like a bag of Idaho Gold’s??
Yeah buddy, that’s gonna be you. But instead of just tucking your tail and going into hiding (and releasing that Croatian-cold war nightmare of an album) you will be left to explain to your friends, family and children why you sought to take up with a painted up troll. Even if you didn’t want to be with Shanna anymore, you could have had some decency and picked someone else. Maybe Carmen Electra, I mean she is single these days. Or perhaps you just coulda kept your biz out of the streets. Just went a long, did your +44 thing with Mark Hoppus and emerged on the other side a little older and wiser.
Lets just be honest, there were a ton of ways this could have gone, and most of those options were better than this.
Dancing With The Stars
Okay so this show is a guilty pleasure for me. Its always been a little hokie with the damn D list celebs and the corny Russian and Slavic dancers, but that’s not important. What is important is how entertained I am, and frankly I was pretty damn entertained. A few questions though.
1. Where the hell is Joe Lawrence’s hair? Someone call Beverly Johnson and get him a piece STAT
2. Doesn’t Tucker Carlson remind you of the one partner you hoped you would never get during that half semester of square dance in 6th grade gym?
3. Who knew Emmitt Smith could move like that? I see Martin’s ex-wife was there to support her man.
4. Vivica looks just like Madam don’t you think?
5. Where the fuck has Willa Ford been the last 6 years?
6. Someone hit A.C. Slater in the face or something, he is like my 13 year old hopped up on rock candy and Jolt Cola.
So far its good, and I am not irritated yet, but I am sure it wont be long before something Master P-like occurs and causes me to yell at the screen.
Men In Trees
New series on ABC, and sad to say I think I like it. I still have trouble buying that Anne Heche is un-gay now, but whatever. The writing is good, the characters are lovable and I might give it a spin provided it doesn’t interfere with Lost. I can only Tivo one thing at a time people. Its about a relationship coach, who is on her way to Alaska for a seminar and a book signing when she discovers her fiancé is cheating on her. When she arrives in Alaska it becomes apparent that the one thing she was hoping to get far away from is the one thing she cant escape, MEN. “They’re everywhere, even in the trees” she says to her editor. Which, in fact they are, cutting limbs and such. Of course she decides to stay and write her next book about men. I really love her editor, and her new love interest. I can see a slow boil there. So anyway check it out, its worth a look-see.