Why does everyone think I should be somewhere grinning like a Cheshire cat and singing climb every mountain. Yay no cancer, Yay surgery! Boy, you sure are lucky to be having surgery! Go somewhere and smile about it! It wont be that bad, just think about how lucky you are! You only have to have surgery! Well whoopee fuckin doo! Ya’ll will pardon the fuck out of me for being not one bit happy, elated, relieved, or generally excited about having surgery. Yes I am greatful its not cancer, yes I am glad that they are going to do something about it. No I am not gonna turn a fucking cartwheel about being out of work, or being in pain, or otherwise inconvenienced by this bullshit. I am in no way downplaying the major amount of support I have receieved from family, friends and all of you. I am just simply a little rattled at the idea that people think surgery is suddenly something to smile about.
Oh ha ha lets laugh about it Avin, lets lighten up! Lets make it a fun joke thing where we can discuss everyday why you aren’t beaming with motherfucking rays of sunshine about it. Truth of the matter is I am done crying about it. I have just decided I am going to be angry. I have decided to put this surgery on the list right under being told I look like Tisha Campbell. I am just gonna be pissed off before, during and most decidedly after this whole fucking ordeal. Just like I now consider that fuckin Gina from Martin crack a scathing insult, I consider this surgery in conjunction with happiness a blatant attempt to insult my fucking intelligence.
You go be fucking happy about surgery, I am going to go break something.