Rescue Me - Condensed and SYTYCD

Okay I am not gonna go too far with either of these recaps but you'll get the basic drift.

Rescue Me - Chlymidia

Mrs. Turberdy is caught screwing her students, and Sheila finds out her son was one of them. She tells Tommy what happened and that the teacher gave them all Chlymidia.

Tommy spends the rest of the episode trying not to pee fire. Alicia (Susan Sarandon) steals Franco's daughter, and tells Tommy that the little girl feels disposable, and when Franco is ready to talk she will be there.

Maggie threatens to kill Tommy because Sean Garrity broke up with her. Sean decides he and Tommy are no longer friends. Probie is having trouble filling out his transfer papers. He and the roommate are still calling each other fags.

Chief's brother in law brings him a check to pay for his sisters upkeep at the nursing home, but rips it up when he sees the neighbor come down the stairs in her nightgown.

Oh and O'Reily's ex-wife is back in town, and though not interested in joining Tommy's plot to get back at Janet and O'Reily at first, next week's previews suggest otherwise.

SYTYCD Last nights show was fire (did I mention I am not a voter?)

Lets get right to it: Last week Joy and Jason got voted off which was no surprise to me. I figured someone was going to get it and it wasnt going to be that bitch ass Dmitry. He stays throwing his partner under the bus, but I will get to that in a minute.

First up were Ben and Ashley who I thought looked extra cute but got saddled with a shitty routine. It was supposed to be hip-hop to Ushers "Caught Up" but It didnt look like it to me. Ursha sucks anywho, so I see why they didnt do so well. Old hip-hop chick called it "STRAN'GE" and all I could think was "How much of white America just did that Scooby Doo head tilt and hrrrh move"

Then Heidi and Ryan got out there and did the Cuban Rhumba. The crypt keeper thought it was going to be some old American Rhumba BS, but it was more like tribal African dance. I gotta hand it to Leatherface though, she worked it, and the routine was off the hook. Remind me to have that Alex Da Silva's baby m'kay. Crowd loved it, Judges loved it..straight fiyah.

Next up were Ivan and Alison who wore OUT the Argentine Tango. They are fucking, I am sure of it. This was another Alex (mybabydaddy) Da Silva routine and it was hotter than the Afro Cuban dance. Those lifts and drops and all that chemistry between them was almost too much for an old girl like me. Da Silva keeps this up and I might just become his stalker.

Then there was Dmitry's (throw a bitch down and step on her) ass and Aleksandra doing the waltz. Of course Dmitry is the god of all things ball room but just like he carried the shit out of Joy, he did the same shit to Aleksandra. Rolling his eyes and acting like she is too stupid to breathe. Look just cause cackling ass Mary Murphy wants to fuck you, doesnt mean you are all that great. Go sit down.

Then one of my favorite couples came out. Donyelle and Benji. They did some sort of Pop Jazz to Dani Minogue's "Put the needle on it" which I swear I have heard before. Anyway they of course proceeded to run it better than lil Chris Brown. Homegirl was serious with it, and Benji was not hardly playing. Stran'ge! Poor Poor Musa and Natalie... How sexy could yall be doing the foxtrot anyway? I loved the outfit Natalie was wearing, but thats where my accolades stop. It was very ungood and nothing I hope they ever have to repeat. Sadly even after the bang up job they did last week, they might not make it this week thanks to this shitty routine.

Jessica and Jaymz. First, I hate to keep bringing this up, but wtf is with his name?? Seriously I know you arent exactly a white guy, but um...your name is really fucking me up. Either your momma was ignorant as hell or you are a pretentious name changing fuck. Whewww okay with that said, I loved their routine to "Lets Go" by Frou Frou. That song is a Greys Anatomy song, I know it. It was contemporary, but she did a damn good job. The whole routine I am thinking she looks like someone, and I finally figured it out. She looks like a cross between Fiona Apple and Lee Lee Sobieski. See for yourself.

Just as I am thinking CAN WE GET TO TRAVIS ALREADY!!! Here they come. That boy is the TRUTH! I cant call it any other way. Martha...well um, she has great legs. Why does she have to look so diesel in the upper body and face? Anyway, they did another not quite hip hop routine to Chris Brown's Just fine, where Travis pretended to persue her, and Martha pretended not to be a tranny. Ehh I knew the judges would hate it but as usual Travis was hot to death (did I just say that?) and if I were voting he would get mine every time.

So my prediction for this weeks losers? Aleksandra and Musa though I wish it were that bitch ass Dmitry. He need his ass whipped just on GP. Later Ladies and Menses