So last night the King of West Coast Swing's little boy won SYTYCD.
Good for you Benji, I figured you would win. You were just a touch more popular than Travis who I understand has some very fem pictures floating about the internet these days. I wont even attempt to recap that 2 hour debacle of lights sounds and Shane "I pity the fool" Sparks with his mini fro-hawk. This cat is unbelievable!
Ciara did a fine job on her performance but she needs to let go of whichever stylist put that extra bag of Yaki #22, 18 inch bone straight in her head. She looked like a sheep dog. I just knew she was gonna come flying off that stage blind as hell. Thank god someone turned on the wind machine near the end of the performance, but damn like Coco Channel said about accesories, do that with your hair and just leave out a bag.
Fergie performed and did "London Bridge" which is my new guilty pleasure I am sad to report. I love the song, but I am so vexed by her damn walking shorts. They are hideous and worse they do nothing to accentuate that pancake she keeps referring to as a hump. I also have trouble buying her youthful act since she is damn near 40 and got more plastic surgery than Vivica. Song still cranks though.
Speaking of songs...Timberlake
Sorry folks, I know yall are gonna get out your pitchforks on me, but seriously I adore "Sexy Back". I forgive him for tossing Janet under the bus after "Tittygate". I mean I cant even say that Janet didnt give him a pass on that. None of the black producers stopped working with him, and he was just singing something last year on Charlie will you go get your wheelchair and sit still Wilson's CD. No one seems all that pissed with JT. I for one dont care about it. That was a plan that THEY cooked up. When shit backfires you cant cry about who got blamed more, especially when yall knew a titty was involved.
I have a Rescue Me Update but I am never sure anyone is really listening. Since there is one one more show I guess I will post it. Scroll past if you dont care.
Tommy comes home to find that Lou brought home a nun who is leaving the order in two weeks. Tommy doesn’t really seem to give a damn that she is leaving the order, only that Lou is fuckin a nun in his house, which he considers a one way trip to hell (not that he wasn’t going anyway).
Chief has the Ms. Cleo the Jamaican lady over to the house and she is making some serious mention of the two of them getting naked. Chief is no where near ready for that and sends her home but later goes to Tommy for a lil extra "help".
Sean and Maggie have been beefing about the whole "church wedding" bit and Sean finally convinces her to go to the priest and see about getting a real wedding. Well, you know from the jump Maggie is going to act a fool. She first tries lighting up in the rectory, and then she starts telling the priest off, who actually says that an exorcism that he performed once was more pleasant. They leave not speaking.
After trying to burn the damn house down, Tommy's dad runs away from home and winds up drunk at the grave of Tommy's mother. Tommy and Lou spend most of the day searching pubs for him and then realize where he has gone.
Franco finally sat down with his girlfriends supposedly retarded brother, and figured out that the fool really ain't retarded at all. Turns out he just likes being able to scream out nicca every five minutes and he doesn’t want guys taking advantage of his sister. So Franco asked his permission to date the sister, and after seeing that neither of them is as stupid as they look they worked it out.
Sheila shows up at the fire house to talk to Tommy about buying a beach house together. This bitch is loco on an extra level, but I knew that when she slipped Tommy the roofies and pretended like he got drunk just to screw him. BTW I think she is going to end up pregnant too. Last I see Sheila she is going to go talk to a real estate agent about buying the beach house.
Lou suggested that they move his uncle and Tommy’s dad in together since they both seem to be out of control lately. Lou is still thinking about moving and going on the boat. Johnny (Tommy's brother) was trying to convince Janet to name their (or whoever's baby) Namith Gavin in honor of Joe Namith. Janet was less than thrilled.
Chief finally got around to screwing the Jamaican woman with a lil help from the happy blue pill courtesy of Tommy ( I think Sheila brought it from that stash she confiscated from Damien) however midway into the second course, he started having chest pains, and old girl rolled out on him cause she is an illegal and doesn’t want anyone to know she was there. Chief of course flops face down on the floor, no ambulance no nothing.
Meanwhile Johnny is on a stakeout talking shit with his partner about whether or not Madonna or Cher has the better ass, (like either one of them dried up white women are a candidate for anything that has best or ass in the title) and he gets gunned down by a faceless suspect. Now he is face up on the ground.
What in tarnation was going on last night??? Did they really put my girl off the show in favor of Vincent? Lemme tell you, "it was the nightmare of my life" for them to pick that piece of garbage roll over what just happened to be an ill fitting cute dress. Its not her fault her model got body. I mean damn. Poor Poor sweet Alison, we will miss you. I hope Laura bites Vincent's head off in his weasley little sleep, even though she had chicken cutlet titty peeping out of her dress. Oh and I like Michael, but that look did nothing for me. That was some old Fashion Plates/Paper Dolls BS he came up with. So I totally get why Jeffery was mad. Laura shoulda been mad too. Her dress was on point. We will just see what Tim Gunn has to say about all this chicanary next week.